Adjusting to Life after Unexpected Repatriation

I have been happy living overseas all these years. So having to move back indefinitely to my home country unexpectedly (aka "repatriation") has been a bit of a shock, to say the least.

Someone told me that the emotional side affects of moving can be more difficult to deal with than the physical moving.

I think they might be right.

The feelings of loss that sneak up on you in the middle of the night can be a bit overwhelming. It's not just about the physical loss of the familiar space you call home. It's not knowing where things are in your kitchen anymore... all of my stuff is still in Egypt... my hot water kettle... my special mugs... all of my spices carefully arranged in my spice cabinet...

I know it sounds trivial. I mean, who cares that you know where your favorite mug is?

But here we are in Kentucky, my son and I - that is. My husband is still in Egypt. It's not like he can just pack up and leave his job.

So after being evacuated from Egypt to live sort of indefinitely away from my home, my stuff, and - most importantly - my husband, I still feel a little lost sometimes.

I read an article recently about the 10 ways repatriation is nothing like home leave.

#10 describes me exactly. "You're no longer a rock star." I've lost my identity. I don't live in Egypt anymore. I meet people, and I have to tell them that we live out towards the Anchorage area in Louisville, KY. I'm not interesting or special anymore... at least I'm not until I can't help myself and open my big mouth to spill the beans (about having lived in Egypt, that is).

It's not all bad. 

Actually a whole lot of it is good. 

My son has adjusted well to life in America. My parents live about 15 minutes from our apartment. He has toys to play with. We have things to do, fun things like storytime at the library, playtime at the local park's playground, or visits to the local super pet store to watch their doggie daycare dogs play.

Some of it we could have done in Egypt. But a lot of it we couldn't have.

It's great to have everything so easily available. I can go to the store here and buy just about anything I need or want. And if I can't get it in the store, I can always buy it online. 

And, oh, how I love buying things online.

Plus I get to drive here. And not just a rental, our own car. Definitely a plus.

Do we plan on moving back to Egypt? ABSOLUTELY! I miss Egypt desperately. And it will be nice to live on the same side of the Atlantic with my husband. And if there's anything you've picked up after reading any of this blog, I hope it's been how much I love Egypt.

But if you do find yourself in a similar situation (becoming a repatriate unexpectedly), I would definitely recommend the following:

1. If you can, stay somewhere familiar when you go home. While you might suffer from reverse culture shock with all the unexpected changes, it's a lot less stressful to move to a place you already know.

2. Have a home base. Even if you're not sure how long you'll be back, make sure to create some sort of normalcy in your life by having a place to call home.

3. Have a schedule. Give yourself something to look forward to every day. Find things to do for yourself and for your kids (if you have any).

4. Live a healthy lifestyle. Eat healthy and exercise regularly. Remember that moving and repatriation is stressful. Exercise helps relieve stress.
5. Keep in touch with people you knew abroad. While it may seem strange to hang onto relationships that you've left behind, I think keeping them may help you transition into life back home more than you realize. 

6. Take it one day at a time. Some days might be good. Some days might be bad. Just keep moving and you'll get through this.

At least that's what I keep telling myself.

Egypt Protests, Part 2: Community Building

While the world was busy watching the events going on in downtown Cairo, the truth is that most of us here were just sitting at home waiting. 

We were more worried about the basics. Did we have enough food? Were we safe? Were our families safe? Were our neighborhoods safe?

Because after the Egyptian police were pulled off the streets last Friday, homes and businesses were put in danger. Poor people from across Cairo as well as criminals taking advantage of the situation ransacked malls and businesses, carrying off anything and everything that wasn't nailed to the floor.

It's a pretty scary situation sitting at home knowing that you are helpless to control the situation.

I have never been scared in Egypt before. Never felt nervous about being in the streets. Never thought anything would or could happen to us or our home here.

Not that we were ever in any real danger. The part of Cairo where we live isn't exactly in the thick of things downtown. But the unknown can still be a scary thing.

Nobody knew what could happen. Nobody knew how much could happen. And nobody knew when it would end.

But when news hit our neighborhood of looters at the edge of our part of town and my husband went down with all the other men of the building to stand guard in the street with a shovel in his hand, I must say I was worried.

Just a little bit.

It was interesting to see how something like this could bring together a community. We've lived in our building for five years now and although we know our neighbors, this was the first time we'd really interacted with them.

And it wasn't just the people in our building.

It was the first time I'd spoken to our neighbors on their balcony in the building beside us. I'd seen them out on their balcony numerous times and was shy to speak to them. I respected their space, and they respected ours.

But this gave us something to talk about. Because who else were you going to talk to?

At this point even our mobile phones were still off. The only way we were getting our news was through the international news we were getting via satellite... and the rumors that drifted through the streets from building to building.

I think we'll see in weeks, months, and even years to come how these days of coming together to defend our streets and homes will create a long-lasting bond in our neighborhood. I'm sure this will be true across Cairo and perhaps across the country of Egypt.

Because just like in any other country around the world, when ordinary people step up to do their duty to protect their homes and families, you see a strength of character and spirit of camaraderie unlike any other.

It made me feel safer knowing that the men who lived in our neighborhood were stepping up to keep it safe. We came home from the airport only to get stopped by 10 separate neighborhood checkpoints.

It didn't matter if you were rich or poor, Christian or Muslim.

This was about something bigger. These are our homes. These are our families.

If the government chose to turn a blind eye to the damage and destruction being caused by looters across the city, the men in our communities were stepping up to to fill the void.

I have never been prouder of my adopted country.

Egypt Protests, Part 1: Communication Blackout

Note to governments worldwide: if you want to freak out every expat living within your borders, turn off all mobile phone networks and cut off all Internet access. Hey, it worked in Egypt and it could for you too.

I never knew how much I relied on these two relatively insignificant things to keep me *plugged in* to the rest of the world.

Friday morning we woke up to a very normal feeling day. Everyone knew that protests were being scheduled after Friday prayers (which ends around 1:00PM Cairo time). Usually we're up earlier and off to the international church around 9:30AM but I forgot to set my alarm so we got up a bit later and went out for breakfast.

Cairo is always a quiet city early on a Friday morning and this Friday was no different. The streets are mostly empty (as in fewer cars that don't have to stop because of traffic, we're still talking about a mega-city of approximately 20 million people here).

First thing on Friday I noticed that the service for my mobile phone was down. It surprised me, and I thought at first there was a problem with my phone.

So I called for my husband. His phone's service was down too.

Then we pulled out another mobile phone (I think we have them coming out of our ears in our house) with a line for another mobile company to see if it was working.

It was not.

I tend to think worst-case scenarios here. I don't know if it's the result of being married to an insurance guy for over 5 years or just my own life experience so far of how often Murphy's law comes into play when you live in a foreign country.

The questions started running around in my mind. What happened if I got separated from my husband? What happened if his mother (who lives across town) needed something? What about hospitals, what if there was an emergency and we needed to go to the hospital, how could we reach them?

Let me just interrupt to say that landlines stayed working through all of this.

But, seriously, who uses an actual phone these days?! Certainly not in Egypt. Even the poorest of the poor somehow manage to have mobile phones in Egypt.

In our house I don't even bother to plug in our landline phone anymore because (and I do not exaggerate here) we got more wrong number calls to the house than we did legitimate calls looking for us. I think the only people who know our landline number are the delivery guys from Papa John's, McDonald's and Peking.

So like I said we went out for breakfast but we were on our way home long before prayer time was over.

We all knew something was coming. We just didn't know how far and how long it would last. Protests (of any kind) plus the Egyptian police never equals a very safe environment for everyone. And with the Muslim Brotherhood announcing on Thursday that after officially sitting out of Tuesday's Jan. 25 scheduled protests that they would be joining in on Friday, we knew that was NOT a good thing.

So protests plus the Egyptian police PLUS the Muslim brotherhood had the potential to be a very volatile situation.

And after protests in downtown Cairo on Tuesday had gotten out of hand and had spread to other neighborhoods on Wednesday, we had no way of knowing how close the situation would get to us.

Even as far out as we live by the Cairo airport. It's not that we live that far from downtown Cairo. In fact, on a good traffic day you can reach downtown within 20 minutes or less. But there's still a whole lot of Cairo between downtown and us.

Somehow during the course of the morning we had realized that all internet service had been cut as well. Now block Facebook... block Twitter... I can live without them... at least for a little while. We can go retro here and go back to email (I'm kidding).

But cut off my access to the outside world... that's a WHOLE different situation.

As I write this from our hotel room in Cyprus tonight internet access in Egypt is still down. There have been various rumors that it's been up and running. And it seems that some places like embassies (or at least the U.S. embassy) and hotels have had intermittent over the past few days.

I won't comment on the privileged few.

I'm talking about the humble masses out there without internet access here.

People like me. People who have iPhones and Blackberries that are never beyond arm's reach. Bloggers. Facebook and Twitter junkies. People who live and breathe having access to the world at their fingertips. People who actually enjoy the information overload of the Internet.

I wear this badge proudly.

Because I could've cared less at this point what was going on downtown. All I was thinking is when this began to hit the news (which got turned on in our house the minute we stepped in the door after getting home from breakfast Friday morning and didn't get turned off for about 48 hours), what is my family going to think? How was I going to get word to them that we're okay? Would my mother have another mild heart attack wondering and worrying where we are and how we're doing?

So, yeah, thanks for that. I appreciate the fact that you were trying to stifle the protests by cutting off communication in Egypt.

Oh, and look where that got you anyways.

It certainly made MY life a little more enjoyable in Egypt.

Image courtesy of ITN

Stay tuned for more on an expat's perspective of the protests in Egypt.

Egypt School of Driving: Traffic Lanes

Did you ever wonder who decided why lines should be put on the roads? Why are only 3 lanes put on the road when actually 4 lanes of traffic will fit on the road? I mean, seriously, if no one follows the lines why bother putting them on the road in the first place?

In Cairo, lines on the road are more of a suggestion than the rule. You might be surprised to find that even when the roads are clear that most Egyptian drivers still manage to completely ignore the *suggested* lanes.

For me, I have learned to appreciate the idea of staying within the lines ever since I was a child. Years I spent coloring inside the lines. Now I cringe to think of all those Egyptian coloring books scribbled all over by children with no regard for the lines!

Okay, so maybe I've taken it a little too far.

But there are distinct differences between we Americans use lanes on the road and how the majority of cars on Cairo streets use lanes. As usual, we'll use the 2006 Kentucky Driver's Manual as a reference.

How to use lanes.
KENTUCKY
"Smooth driving allows you to keep more distance between yourself and other drivers and also helps improve fuel economy.

If there are three or more lanes in one direction, the middle lane or lanes are for through traffic. The left lane is for drivers who want to pass or turn left. The right lane is used by drivers who want to go slower or who are entering or turning right. If a road has only two lanes in one direction, the right lane generally has the smoothest traffic flow, with the left lane being reserved for the passing of other vehicles. Remaining in the left lane on a limited access highway is illegal."

EGYPT
Smooth driving is not having to stop EVER. Everyone knows that the lines on the road are for decoration. Make sure to use the far left lane if a u-turn is coming up and you're wanting to go straight. Everyone turning left will appreciate having to wait for you to block traffic to go straight instead of turning left yourself. The same goes for turning right. If you need to make a right turn, be sure to wait until the last minute to cut straight across several lanes of moving traffic to turn right. Again, who wants to be bored while driving?

How to pass properly.
KENTUCKY
"In general, you should pass on the left. Passing on the right can be dangerous since other drivers do not expect it. Vehicles on the right side are also more difficult to see. The operator of a vehicle may overtake and pass another vehicle upon the right only under conditions permitting such movements safely. Such movement shall not be made by driving off the roadway, unless the vehicle passed comes to a complete stop and such movement may be made safely."

EGYPT
It is true that passing is safer done from the left side. But the best way to pass is to move to either the left or right side of the car you want to pass, flash your lights or honk your horn to tell them to move aside. Just remember that there are no personal space laws so be sure to use every available inch to fit your car between other cars while passing. The tighter the space, the more points you get.

How to turn properly.
KENTUCKY
"When turning into another street, turn into the lane nearest to you. If you are turning left from a street with two or more lanes, turn from the lane nearest the center line. If you are turning right, turn from the lane nearest the curb.

If you need to change to another lane, do so only after you have finished your turn and when the traffic is clear.

If you have already started through an intersection when the light changes, keep going. If you have started to make a turn, follow through. Last-second changes can cause collisions.

If you miss your turn go on to the next intersection and work your way back to where you want to go."

EGYPT
Turning on the roads of Cairo is a national sport. Whether it's cutting across several lanes of traffic to catch that u-turn rather than continuing on down the road to the next one or making oncoming traffic come to an abrupt halt by veering right suddenly to make a quick right turn, you don't want to miss out on making your mark on the road.

And as for last-second changes, well, didn't someone say better late than never? If you start to get on the 6th of October bridge and realize it's blocked, don't worry about backing back down the ramp. The traffic coming up behind you is just waiting for a car to swerve to avoid so no worries. It may seem crazy to back down a busy street but in Egypt, that's just the way things are done!

Image courtesy walid.hassanein

How to See Luxor in 3 Days

If you come to Egypt to get a taste of history rather than just a place to relax by the sea in the sun, well, you don't want to miss going to Luxor. 

The good news is that it doesn't take much time to see the main sites of Luxor. You can very easily see them in 3 days.

Getting to Luxor is easy. Flights to Luxor run about $100 and trust me, you will appreciate spending the extra cash to fly rather than spending the night on an overnight train to Luxor.

The best places to stay in Luxor are on the East Bank. There are hotels on the West Bank as well but you will have to take a ferry across the Nile to get to most of the restaurants.

Here is a sample schedule for seeing Luxor in 3 days:
DAY 1
Afternoon - arrive in Luxor, check into hotel
Evening - visit the Luxor Museum (Open 9am-1pm, 4-9pm WINTER)
*Arrange for next morning's hot air balloon ride

DAY 2
Early, early morning (times vary) - Hot air balloon ride over Luxor
Morning - return to hotel, eat breakfast, rest
Afternoon - visit the Luxor Temple (East Bank)
*Buy tickets for Karnak Sound & Light Show in the afternoon
Evening - attend the Karnak Temple Sound & Light show

DAY 3
Morning - get up, eat breakfast
Late morning - take the National Ferry across to the West Bank
*Hire a taxi for the day
West Bank schedule: Temple of Hatshepsut (1 hr), Valley of the Kings (1 1/2 hrs), Valley of the Queens (1/2 hr), Ramesseum (1/2 hr), Medinat Habu (1/2 hr)
Evening - return to hotel, rest, go out for dinner, take a carriage ride along the Nile

DAY 4
Morning - catch flight back to Cairo

If you have small children I recommend taking an extra day in Luxor. 

It is easy to do East Bank Luxor one day and West Bank Luxor another and finish it all at one time. However, it is quite exhausting to do so.

We used a modified schedule from the above when we went to Luxor recently. Keep in mind that I have a one-year-old that needed to go back to the hotel every day for a nap (and I think the rest of us much appreciated this down time as well).
DAY 1
Early afternoon - arrive in Luxor, check into hotel, eat lunch
Afternoon - put son down for a nap
Evening - visit the Luxor Museum

DAY 2
Morning - get up & eat breakfast, take National Ferry over to West Bank Luxor
Late morning - visit the Valley of the Kings
Afternoon - return to hotel, rest & relax, eat lunch
*Buy tickets for Karnak Sound & Light show
Evening - attend Karnak Sound & Light show
*Arrange for hot air balloon ride

DAY 3
Early, early morning - Hot air balloon ride over Luxor
Morning - return to hotel, eat breakfast, rest
Late morning - take National Ferry over to West Bank Luxor
Afternoon - visit the Temple of Hatshepsut, the Ramesseum, and Medinat Habu
Late afternoon - return to hotel, rest & relax
Evening - go out for dinner, carriage ride along the Nile

DAY 4
Morning - get up & eat breakfast
Late morning - visit the Luxor Temple
Afternoon - late check out from hotel, catch flight back to Cairo

What advice do I have for someone visiting Luxor?

• Buy books about Luxor before arriving in Luxor. I recommend the Illustrated Guide to Luxor and the Lonely Planet Egypt guide. Carry them with you to help guide you through the sights.
• Stay close to the center of town. If you plan to spend a week in Luxor, by all means, stay out at a nice resort and enjoy the heated pool in the sunny Luxor afternoons. Otherwise you'll hate have to hop in a taxi every time you need to get anywhere. 
• Don't buy souvenirs in Luxor. If you're going back to Cairo, wait to buy any souvenirs from the Khan El-Khalili. The stuff you'll find on the streets of Luxor is much cheaper at the Khan.
• Don't forget that a taxi on the West Bank of Luxor can take you home to the East Bank (there's a bridge down the Nile). So if you're really exhausted after a long afternoon in the hot sun, ask the driver how much he'll charge to take you all the way back to your hotel. If it's reasonable, enjoy the air-conditioned ride back.
• Check the Sound & Light website for times & days for the Karnak Temple shows. Shows are offered in different languages at different times. You'll want to plan your schedule around that.
• Buy your tickets to the Sound & Light show early. You don't want to get stuck without a ticket when all those tour groups have snagged all the tickets for that day.
• Don't forget that monuments and museums offer discounted tickets for students and also for spouses of Egyptian citizens. You MUST show your student ID to receive the student discount (so make sure you have it on hand). If you're married to an Egyptian, you MUST show your passport with the resident's visa stating that you're married to an Egyptian in order to receive the Egyptian ticket price. Trust me, it is WORTH the trouble (try 10 LE vs. 80 LE) 
• Choose wisely which tombs you'll enter in the Valley of the Kings. Remember that you can only enter 3 tombs on one ticket. Tutankhamen and Rameses VI are separate tickets (but well worth the money). Watch out because a lot of tombs are closed at certain times when least expected. Recommended tombs to visit are: Thutmes III (Tutmosis), Amenhetep II (Amenotep), Merneptah, Tausert & Seknakht. Try to start at the top of the Valley and work down (read: most difficult ones first).
• Carry a bottle of water with you. Places like the Temple of Hatshepsut and the Valley of the Kings are hot and don't provide much relief from the sun & heat (those tombs aren't any cooler) so you will need to have a water bottle handy. 
• Take the time to visit the Luxor Museum. I know it seems crazy to waste time in a museum when there are sights to see, but I've found that visiting the museum before seeing the sites kind of helps put a face to the pharaohs (after a while they all kind of run together).

What about you? Do you have any advice for visiting Luxor?

Confessions of an Expat Mom: Babysitter Woes

I love my son. And as much as I love my son, I keep thinking to myself... it sure would be nice to be able to do ONE thing without him every once in a while.

Is that too much to ask?

Finding a babysitter in Egypt is difficult. Ask any mom who lives here and you'll most likely hear a long, drawn-out story about how they either found the babysitter they have (grrrr) or their lack of babysitter and why.

I would be a member of the latter group.

It is interesting to see how carefully people guard their babysitters in Egypt. I mean, seriously, it's not like I'm trying to steal her away from you to offer her a full-time job here - I just want one hour or two to myself.

Egyptians themselves don't seem to suffer from a lack of babysitters. With apparently entire families of baby-lovin' women sitting at home willing and able to watch children at the drop of the hat, I have yet to hear of someone not being able to attend a certain event because they couldn't find a babysitter. In fact, I don't think the thought ever crossed their mind.

I know, I know, I could be WAY off but it's just the way I see things from where I sit.

My husband is sympathetic to my plight. At least he seems to be. And while he DID offer to stay with our son at home while he takes a nap on Fridays so that I can go to the ladies gym for an hour or so, I've yet to take him up on that offer.

But I still might.

All in all I really can do most things I want to do in Egypt. But it takes so much more time and energy from me to do the same things I did before I had my son.

Because you can't just pop out the door on a whim the way you used to anymore. It takes a good 15-20 minutes (or some SERIOUS pre-planning) to get out the door with you, your baby and all your stuff. Even if you're like me and keep using the same bag from day to day, there's still so much to take care of first.

Still don't understand what I mean?

Here's a list of all the stuff I have to bring with me every time we go out the door.
*Diapers
*Wipes
*Toys
*Change of clothes
*Wallet
*Sunglasses
*Packs of tissues
*Chapstick
*Pen AND paper
*Mobile phone
*Food
*Juice/water
*Blanket

See why I dread going out sometimes? I'm already sitting here now and thinking about all the stuff I need to prepare for our trip out today and it makes me cringe.

So, yes, it would be nice to have a sitter available every once in a while.

Perhaps the solution to all of this would be to put my son into a daycare center. I know for many expats (like myself) putting your child into a daycare so that you can sit at home alone seems awfully selfish.

Because isn't the best person to take care of my son (and be there for every single moment) his mother?

Yes, it is. So sometimes even the THOUGHT of putting my son at his age seems somehow lazy and selfish. Sure I want the best for my son. And I certainly don't want to miss out on all those important moments (those first-time for doing... a moment that can never be replaced).

And I am happy to be a stay-at-home expat mom. It's a challenge and a blessing all at the same time.

I know I am not alone in my feelings. Mothers I've met in Egypt with children young and old all face these kinds of issues at one time or another. It might look or smell a bit different. But we are living in a culture very different from what we're used to back home.

I know for me that childcare in the States is viewed very different than they see it here in Egypt. I started babysitting when I was in my early teens. My sister still works part-time as a nanny (and she's a college-grad working on her MBA). It's actually pretty good money if you're willing to sacrifice the time (and the evenings).

In Egypt, Egyptian teenage girls do not babysit. Even college-aged girls don't babysit. I think there are several reasons for this: (1) young people do not usually work until they finish school and (2) young ladies don't know much about taking care of kids.

So it seems that only older Egyptian ladies babysit.

Of course many foreigners (and Egyptians) go the route of hiring a nanny. But I am not so desperate as to give up my one-on-one time with my son just so I can leave him with someone once or twice a week. Plus it's expensive.

Maybe one day I'll figure this whole babysitter thing out. If I do, I'll let you know.

What about you? Have you had any luck finding a babysitter in Egypt?

Egypt Essentials: The Bowab

A bowab is neither a thing or a place but rather a person. However, if you live in Egypt long enough, he might just become the most important person you'll meet.

The Arabic word "bowab" loosely translates into the English word "doorman," but he does so much more than just hold the door open to your building.

Years ago when I lived in Egypt the first time around, I lived in several apartment buildings. But I cannot tell you today whether any of them had a bowab present.

What a shame!

The first thing to know about dealing with a bowab is that you must be able to speak Arabic. Bowabs may be Muslim or Christian, but they are always from a lower class (and many times from upper Egypt) so they will not be able to speak any English.

There is one person in the building who usually serves as the building *manager.* This person usually owns a flat in the building and is responsible for all of the building maintenance and upkeep. They are also in charge of the bowab.

In our case (like many others) the bowab lives in a small room usually in the lower level of the building. We have a garage so his room is in the garage. Some bowabs have their families with them and some do not. 

The bowab is responsible for certain things as part of his regular job:
*Guard the building (although this does not meet to stand guard all night)

*Cleaning the inner shared parts of the building, including the stairwells, elevator(s), and entry or foyer to the building

*Cleaning of the front outside of the building, including the steps leading up to the building, the front sidewalk, and usually the part of the road or curb directly in front of the building

*Watering and caring for any plants inside or planted in front of the building

*Maintenance issues (elevator, lights in the stairwell, water pump, gas line, etc) that may need to be addressed by the building manager

However, the bowab is also able to perform services directly for the inhabitants of the building. This is where you'll find that he becomes invaluable. I never realized how many things a bowab could take care of until we moved into our building. Of course, some of these things require a certain amount of trust on your part.

Here are some things our bowab does for us:

Cleans our car daily. As far as I understand it, this is not part of our bowab's regular job but rather an understanding that he and my husband have decided on through the years.

Collects the mail. I have yet to see a mailman in our current building. Often when I lived in Egypt before I would receive a package while I was out of the house and all I'd get was a yellow slip that told me I'd have to go pay money down at the post office to collect it. However, with our bowab he pays the fee (usually) and holds the package for us until we come home.

Assists in carrying things. This might be when I'm getting out of a taxi with my young son on one arm and bags in that hand, struggling to wrench the stroller out of the car with the other... so you can see how this comes in handy. Other times he's there to help is when we come home from the grocery store or if we're off to the airport with all our luggage. In one way or another, his poor back has been saving ours for several years now.

Sends and receives the ironing. I'm not sure exactly when this started, because it used to be that the ironing guy would come up to the flat and deal with us directly. However, through the years - perhaps because we were often not in the house when the ironing guy would get around to coming by - we've taken to leaving the bag of clothes we're sending out for ironing with our bowab. Then when the ironing guy comes, he collects it from the bowab and when it's finished he brings it back to our bowab who then delivers it to our door.

Runs errands. This includes a wide variety of things. Our bowab buys fruits and vegetables for us. He goes to bring us foul (Egyptian beans eaten for breakfast) and freshly baked Egyptian balady bread. He runs to get milk or yogurt or whatever else I may have forgotten from the store or run out of suddenly. We might have surprise guests at the door and have nothing cold in the refrigerator to offer them to drink; when this happens I just call the bowab and he goes quickly to get some drinks for us.

There are a million other things that our bowab does for us, many of which are perhaps not part of his job but that he does anyways.

Honestly it can take years to build up a rapport with your bowab. And of course with many or most of these little extras it's customary to give a little tip out of thanks and respect for his hard work. Remember that those things aren't part of his everyday job.

Note: Although we personally have been blessed these past 5 years with an excellent bowab, it is important to know that you should be wary when dealing with your bowab. They should not be allowed in your house when you're not at home nor (particularly if you're a single lady or married lady alone without your husband or son) when you're at home. Unfortunately not every bowab is honest or trustworthy so be careful when you're new (you might get opinions from your neighbors in the building if you're concerned).

You may give your bowab a small gift at feast time (Muslim feasts if he's Muslim and Christmas & Easter if he's Christian). This is usually money. Sometimes we also give sweets like cookies or chocolates (not bought special but because we already had them in the house).

If you live in Egypt, I hope that you are able to fully appreciate your bowab. It is a very difficult job they have. However, at the same time if you can learn to both communicate and understand how to deal with your bowab, this will make your life in Egypt much easier in many ways.

What about you? Can you share any advice or experience you have on dealing with a bowab in Egypt?

Image courtesy walid.hassanein

Where to Take Guests to Eat in Cairo

It is the greatest joy to have people visit you when you live abroad. Of course, it can also be stressful and exhausting as well if you don't plan at least a little.

And let's face it - food requires planning.

There are many places that we like to take our guests when they come to visit. We usually don't have a lot of time so I try to be smart about where we go to eat.

I usually decide where to take our guests to eat based on the following 3 issues:

Atmosphere. Is it a warm and inviting place? Is it dim and crowded? Is it family friendly? Is it large and spacious? It depends on your group where you'd like to go. If you have young kids, you want the family friendly place. For large groups, you want the large and spacious place. For those wanting a more *authentic* dining experience in Cairo, they might want the dim and crowded place.

Location. A schedule will always revolve somehow around food. There are lots of great places to eat in Cairo, but not all of them are the best choice when you're all the way across town. Other things to consider are that you might want to give your guests a varied experience. For example, you might take them to Al-Azhar Park to dine at the Citadel View Restaurant on a Friday or Saturday just before sunset where they can overlook Islamic Cairo and enjoy the view while eating their fill at the oriental buffet.

Or you might take them to City Stars to eat at Abou El Sid restaurant to experience another side of Cairo while also having the opportunity to taste some authentic oriental food. I love to sit at the circular tables and to order a selection of dishes and just to whirl the middle around to share.

Or still another experience with eating at Andrea (I recommend either the Mokkatam or Mattareya locations) where you're out in the open air and you can smell the chicken roasting. The lady is usually sitting there baking fresh bread. You can feast on dips (salads) and starters to your little heart's content (and really should because it takes 30 minutes to get that chicken freshly roasted).

Quality of food. There is nothing more embarrassing than to take a guest to a place that doesn't have good food. I always feel like I have wasted my time and energy to come to a place where I don't get food that tastes good.

My advice is never to take your guests to a place that you have never tried before. No matter how high of a recommendation a place gets from someone you know, you'll feel more comfortable with your guests if you've been there before. That way you can recommend certain dishes to your guests and in general get a feel for the place. Plus if you tip well, they might remember you the next time you come and you may even get better service than you did the last time.

All-in-all eating in Cairo can (and should) be a delightful experience for your guests. They may never be able to experience the best Egyptian food which is, of course, homemade Egyptian food. However, they may be able to get a feel for the traditional culture and food here by tasting it in some of the fabulous restaurants available in Cairo.

I would recommend the following places to take guests in Cairo:
*Citadel View Restaurant (Studio Misr), Al-Azhar Park
*Andrea, Mokkatam or Marioteyya locations
*Felfela, Downtown
*Abou El Sid, Zamalek or City Stars locations (the only ones I can vouch for)

What about you? What is your favorite place to take guests to eat in Cairo?

8 Tips for Sightseeing in Egypt with Baby

We went last week to Luxor with my sister. For those of you who don't know what Luxor is, well, it's basically where all the *good* stuff is to see in Egypt.

You want well-preserved walls covered in brightly painted hieroglyphs. Well, you have to go to Luxor.

You want building-high obelisks and large-sized statues of pharoahs or ancient Egyptian gods in their original positions of glory. Well, you have to go to Luxor.

You want to walk through the corridors of Egyptian history at night - perhaps the Sound & Light show at Karnak. Well, the only place you can do that is Luxor.

I guess you've got the picture.

Now I have done a lot of sightseeing in Egypt over the years. But I hadn't done any with my son before now. So when it came to planning our trip to Luxor, I was a bit nervous because I wasn't quite sure how he was going to do.

I had a lot of questions about trying to go sightseeing with a young child in Egypt.

• Would I be able to use our stroller or would I be limited to our carrier? Would my son take to the carrier (he hadn't been much of a fan of it when he was younger)?
• What about meals? How were we going to find food for our son? Would any of the restaurants have highchairs?
• What about the hotel? Could he sleep in a bed provided by the hotel or should we bring our own?

These are good questions to ask whenever you go just about anywhere in the world with a baby.

I find that no matter where I go with my son that I need to be as flexible as possible. While it's good to plan in advance, I always keep in mind that plans (particularly in Egypt and ESPECIALLY with a little one) are mostly suggestions than actual step-by-step guides.

For example, I brought the carrier with us to Luxor planning to use it solely as a backpack. Having been to Luxor myself once before, I knew that most of the sites were not stroller-friendly so we wouldn't be able to bring the stroller along.

And our son was pretty happy the first couple of days sitting in the carrier as a backpack. We went to the Valley of the Kings that second day in Luxor, and he even slept about halfway through our time there. We just pulled that sunshade up over his head and off we went down into all those tombs.

However, our second day in Luxor ended at the Temple of Karnak where we went for the Sound & Light show. It was dark and we had to walk in the midst of a crowd of people for a while and then stand waiting for the next part of the narration. My son was happy during most of the walking part in the carrier on my husband's back. However, into the 2nd part of the show he started fussing as we stood for maybe 10 minutes listening to the narration.

Nothing my husband could do was making him happy. He bounced him around in the carrier. He took him out of the carrier. He let him stand on the base of one of the big columns (although I promise his little hands didn't touch anything ancient).

Finally I took him and realized that my arms were not going to hold out till the end of the show. So in exasperation I decided to try switching the carrier to the front instead of the back.

Problem solved.

Here are a few things I would recommend regarding how to make sightseeing (and travel) in Egypt with baby easier:

1. Don't go it alone. Quite frankly if my husband hadn't been there to take my son at times, I couldn't have made it to that last day in Luxor. It would be extremely exhausting if you don't have someone to help carry baby or feed baby or play with baby while you're trying to see the sites.

2. Invest in a baby carrier (or borrow one). We bought this carrier before our son was born and had used it only once since he was born. But like I told my husband last week, that carrier more than paid for itself during our trip to Luxor. I would highly recommend one that is back-friendly such as the Beco or Ergo carriers. You will thank yourself after you're through climbing out of one of those tombs in Luxor (after having climbed down into it). Oh, and don't forget to use that sunshade included with the carrier - there may be no real break from the sun until you're done at that site.

3. Use a travel highchair. A friend lent us a Totseat for our trip to Luxor, and even though I was a bit skeptical at first about using it, it became a very useful item during our trip. I take our stroller everywhere in Cairo, and it often doubles as a highchair for us when highchairs are unavailable. However, in Luxor we were often out without the stroller (or it took up too much room to keep it out for our son to sit in). So as a last resort I packed the Totseat in my bag thinking we'd just hold him in our laps anyways. I was wrong, and I wish I'd had one of these portable cloth travel highchairs earlier.

4. Pace yourself. You can be out all day in the hot sun when you don't have kids with you. Sure you'll suffer a bit later and come back to the hotel exhausted, but you'll be okay. This is not a good idea when you have a little one.

I would definitely recommend that you take a break in the middle of the day with a young child. Sure they can sleep in the carrier, but it's a lot hotter in Egypt than you realize so they may just need the break from the sun that going back to the hotel affords.

Plus if your child is anything like mine, he or she will enjoy the freedom of playing on the floor of the hotel room with toys from home than being cooped up all day in a carrier.

5. Bring baby bowls and utensils with you. This seems like a no-brainer to me, but I thought I'd throw that in there. I was able to snag some fruit off the breakfast buffet for our son, cut it up, and feed it to him later while we were out. Cheerios and Kiri-sandwiches are great for snacks, but fresh fruit is even better.

By the way, those plastic bowls also make great bath-time toys (rinsed out, of course) on the fly when you suddenly realize that you've got nothing to keep your son distracted while you scrub all that ancient dust off of him.

6. Double-check that the hotel has baby beds available. We were so very close to having to let our son sleep in between us on our big bed that I was almost too scared to think of how I was ever going to manage that. Be very clear that you need a crib for a baby (or cot, as the British call it) so that you don't end up with a rollaway bed for an older child (what they tried to give us at our hotel).

7. Be flexible. Like I mentioned earlier, if there's one thing I learned again last week about taking my son along on a sightseeing trip, it's that I should go with the flow. So even though we started each day with the most difficult thing (farthest tomb up in the Valley of the Kings or the Temple of Hatshepsut, etc.), we didn't stick 100% to our plan. We moved things around a bit in the schedule. We ordered sandwiches in the room one day rather than going out for lunch when my son and my sister both fell asleep right after coming in from our morning sightseeing (this was AFTER our sunrise hot air balloon ride so we were all exhausted).

8. Bring a hat and sunscreen for baby. This was the first week of January! But even though I'd been to Luxor around this time of year before, I'd forgotten how hot the sun can get there. Even though it's not summertime, you still need to be prepared to protect your child (and yourself) from the sun year-round in Egypt. So don't be like me and forget your son's hat at home!

Would I have chosen to bring my son to Egypt to go sightseeing if we didn't already live here? Probably not. But I'm sure one day he'll grow up and look at the pictures and enjoy the fact that he was experiencing history even before he could walk (maybe).

Plus if there's anything I've learned about being a mom overseas so far is that you don't have the luxury here to be afraid of the unknown. It might be scary to get out of the house sometimes to try something in Egypt that you've never done before. But if I didn't try it - well, I might NEVER get out of the house (and that, my friend, would not be a pretty picture).

You just do what you need to do... and baby just goes along for the ride. Sightseeing in Egypt for me was no different.

What about you? Have you been sightseeing with a young child in Egypt (or another country)? If so, what other tips can you share?

Egypt Essentials: The Pharmacy

All of these items are available in Egypt

A pharmacy would be important in any country for obvious reasons. But in Egypt, the average pharmacy is bound to surprise with all kinds of secret items hidden away.

I know you think I'm exaggerating. But it's really true.

Sure you can buy medicine under the counter, over the counter, you name it counter and well, no prescription is required.

And just like I've mentioned already about fighting a cold in Egypt, you can simply walk up to the pharmacist, name your ailment and get the appropriate medicine (or at least something that might work).

But did you know that pharmacies here also carry the following items?
*Shampoo
*Conditioner
*Shower gel
*Hair gel
*Hair wax
*Hair spray
*Face wash
*Hand & body lotion
*Anti-aging creams
*Sunscreen
*Boxed hair coloring sets
*Toothpaste
*Toothbrushes
*Floss
*Mouth wash
*Band-aids (adhesive bandages)
*Elastic bandages
*Compression stockings
*Cotton balls
*Sterile gauze pads
*Tweezers
*Nail clippers
*Nail files
*Nail polish remover
*Nail polish
*Make-up (lipstick, eye shadow, foundation, eye liner, etc)
*Pill cutters
*Scales
*Razors
*Shaving cream
*Hand soap
*Victoria's Secret lotions
*Perfumes of all kinds
*Colognes of all kinds
*Baby food
*Baby cereal
*Formula
*Bottles
*Diapers
*Swimming diapers
*Diaper wipes
*Diaper rash creams
*Baby shampoo & body wash
*Dr. Sholl's shoes
*Vitamins
*Hair appliances (straightener, curler, blow dryer)
*Eye glasses
*Feminine products (sanitary napkins, tampons, hair removal creams)
*Strollers
*Highchairs

This is really just the beginning of the list of things you can find at pharmacies in Egypt. I'm telling you, these places are like mini goldmines just waiting to be explored.

Yes, I have known to be a bit of a pharmacy junkie in Egypt (I guess it stems from my addiction to Walmart and Target back home in the States).

Here are a few well-known pharmacies that tend to stock a lot of the above items:
El-Ezaby Pharmacy. Locations across Cairo.
Seif Pharmacy. Locations across Cairo. Watch their prices, though, because I've seen some things priced higher than other local pharmacies.
Abdel Maksoud Pharmacy. Heliopolis. My experience is that this is hands down the best pharmacy in Heliopolis. I used to frequent this place at least once a week.

Keep in mind that pharmacies in Egypt deliver. You do, however, have to know what exactly you need. If you don't speak enough Arabic to communicate what you need, just speak in English slowly and they'll most likely hand the phone over to the closest English-speaker on hand.

Delivery is great because if you're sick you just have to call the pharmacy instead of dragging yourself out the door to get what you need. Trust me, this will save you one of these days (if it hasn't already).

I hope that you will appreciate the pharmacy in Egypt as much as I do. I get really excited when I see another pharmacy near us opening up. This means I have more places to find what I need!

Note: Keep in mind that many of these items can also be found in larger supermarkets - sometimes even at cheaper prices - so keep your eyes open when you're out shopping for groceries as well.

What about you? Do you have any recommendations for a great pharmacy near you (if you live in Cairo)?

Egypt School of Driving: Redefining the Right-of-Way

Just because I got my driver's license in Kentucky doesn't mean that I've got this driving thing all figured out. Egyptians take driving to an entirely new level, and I think it's high time I share the notes I've been taking about how a *real* Egyptian should drive.

Be forewarned, however, that driving in Egypt is not for the faint of heart.

And if you're like me and you've only ever ridden as a passenger in Egypt, well, prepare for the ride of your life.

To show a real comparison, however, between the way we drive in the States (namely, Kentucky), I have decided to do a comparison between the "rules of the road" according to the official Kentucky driver's manual and the "rules of the road" as they play out on the streets of Cairo.

Let's take a look first at the Right-of-Way.

Point 1: Pedestrians
KENTUCKY
"By law, drivers must yield to pedestrians under the following conditions, (1) when pedestrians are in a crosswalk or at an intersection and there is no traffic light and (2) when turning a corner and pedestrians are crossing with the light."
EGYPT
Pedestrians are a driving obstacle. Every good driver in Egypt knows that the object is to get as close as possible to a person walking in the street without actually knocking them over. And if you get too close, don't worry - they'll just lay there for a second groaning in pain (surely it's not THAT bad) and get right up and go again.

*This includes mothers walking with babies in strollers and older persons trying to cross the street.*

If you're concerned with their safety, honk the horn real loud right before you pass them. That way they can jump out of the way in time before you run them over. At night, be sure to substitute flashing your lights for the honking of the horns. This is particularly true for foreigners walking in the dark because they're foreigners, they understand exactly what you mean.

Point 2: Turns
KENTUCKY
"Drivers turning left must yield according to oncoming vehicles that are going straight or turning right."
EGYPT
"If there isn't a police officer with a pad & pen in his hands ready to take down your license number, feel free to turn left at your leisure. Don't worry about the cars coming straight towards you. They'll appreciate the fun in swerving to avoid hitting you at the last moment.

Point 3: Traffic Circles / Roundabouts
KENTUCKY
"Drivers entering a traffic circle or roundabout must yield right-of-way to drivers already in the circle."
EGYPT
A roundabout (called a "midan" in Egypt) is no fun when there aren't any cars in it. So please be sure - regardless of how many cars are already packed into the midan - to force your car into the stream of cars. It's best if you take the extreme left and go straight across to the extreme right - that way you stop more cars in the process.

Point 4: Minor Roads vs. Main Roads
KENTUCKY
"Drivers on a minor road must yield to drivers on a main road."
EGYPT
Who cares what the difference is between a minor road and a main road is? If you're driving straight, people should stop for you. If you're turning left, people should stop for you. If you're turning right, people should stop for you. And especially if you're going the wrong way down a one-way street, the rest of traffic should come to a screeching halt and get out of your way because you have extenuating circumstances which mean you have to drive the *wrong* way.

Point 5: Intersections
KENTUCKY
"At a 4-way, 3-way, or 2-way stop, the driver reaching the intersection and stopping first should go first."
EGYPT
Regardless of how many streets are intersecting, the only reason to stop is if another car's nose or tail is in your way and you can't find a way to inch around it.

I know you're itchin' to do a little driving in Egypt yourself now, right?

But seriously, I have been studying this whole right-of-way concept in Egypt for years now, and I'd say that it's all basically a matter of being completely fearless. If you're shy and timid and don't get the nose of your car out there to enter the stream of traffic, well, you'll be sitting there for a while. You have to just get out there and do it - leaving your fear in the cloud of dust behind you.

My husband and I have been discussing lately whether or not I'm ready to begin driving in Egypt yet. And I'm telling you (just like I tell him) that I'm ready.

Just ask my grandma who taught me how to drive. When it came time to merge onto the interstate highway that first time - a time when most people gradually accelerate to move into the oncoming stream of traffic - well, I floored it.

No fear here!

So I think I'm ready. What do YOU think?

Confessions of an Expat Mom: Resisting the Urge to Compare

Everything I read as a new mom told me not to compare my child to others. And I've been pretty good overall about realizing that each baby develops at their own rate.

But what I didn't realize about being a mom AND an expat is that it's not just the development issue that tempts us to compare.

It's also our living situations.

It might be about what kind of flat you live in, what type of car you drive (or if you don't have a car), where you're able to shop, what you can afford, how many times a year you're able to fly home for a visit...

Because you meet people of all kinds when you live in a place like Egypt. You might meet oil executives, teachers, American diplomatic workers, people serving in roles of all kinds, foreign women married to Egyptians, people with money and people without, people who've been here for years and others who just arrived...

Some people are happy and well-adjusted. Others are not.

And regardless of where you fit into this list, you might look at someone else and think how easy of a life they've got or how hard your life is. Or you might look at them and realize how easy you've got it.

Either way, I encourage you to resist the urge to compare. 

We all have something unique to offer that no one else has. We all have a mission in life to fulfill. Your family is special, regardless of what you have and don't have.

Don't let it become a barrier for you. Don't let it keep you from making friends with people who are different than you. Don't let it cripple your lifestyle to the point where you can't leave the house. Go out and experience new things.

Honestly this isn't just an issue for expat moms. We all need a little reminder to keep our heads up and our eyes from judging.

Because call me crazy but I find that no matter how sad a story someone has there always seems to be a sadder story that's out there.

This might seem trivial but if you're stuck taking taxis everywhere and wish you could have a car. Well, maybe you'll meet someone who's hauling around 2 kids (and not just 1) across town in a taxi (a black-and-white one, no less) on a regular basis. Or maybe you'll meet another expat family with three little girls all under the age of four who can't afford a car.

Kind of puts things into perspective, doesn't it? I whine about things sometimes and then I meet someone who makes me look at my life. And then I kick myself for ever thinking I've got it so hard.

And if you're frustrated because you can't find Cheerios at the 10th place you've looked. Or the right kind of soy formula your baby needs because he's lactose intolerant. Or that brand of diapers you always use for your infant.

Well, unfortunately sometimes things don't go the way we want them to. And no matter how well we plan when we live abroad, something always happens to throw everything off.

But the worst thing you can do in a time like that is let it get to you. Please, for my sake, don't let it get you down.

You never know what tomorrow will bring. Tomorrow is a brand new day. And tomorrow you're sure to discover something new that you'd never find in your home country.

Being an expat isn't easy. Being a mom isn't easy. Just get through today and see what tomorrow has in store for you.

"Egypt Ramblings" Article Featured in Escape From America Magazine

Egypt Ramblings' article My Cairo Kitchen: The Key to Successful Cooking Abroad is featured this month in the Escape from America magazine December 2010 issue. This issue is available online where you can read many articles pertaining to life abroad all over the world.

I must admit that I am new to Escape from America as well as their Escape Artist and Expat Daily News sister sites (on which my article Pet Lover in Exile appeared last month). But at just a glance, you will realize - like I did - that the overload of information about expat living available on these sites is just the beginning.

There so many sites out there with great resources for expats living abroad as well as those considering moving to a foreign country! I hope you keep this in mind if you ever plan on moving overseas!

And let me just say that if you're reading Escape from America BEFORE you move abroad, you are way ahead of the game!

Celebrating Christmas Overseas

Christmas is often a hard time to be an expat living overseas. For me, it's not just about being four-thousand miles away from family but also the struggle to keep the holiday traditions alive while living abroad.

Sure I love to trim the tree, bake cookies, sing Christmas carols, watch Christmas movies, and go to the candlelight service on Christmas Eve.

But it's still not always easy to make it feel like Christmas around here, but I do my best.

Even if I usually trim the tree alone. I might bake cookies and find that nobody likes them. I still sing carols loud and proud around the house even there's no one else to sing along. We still watch my favorite Christmas movies - like White Christmas, The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, and Home Alone - even if they're not the type of movies my husband grew up with.

Don't get me wrong, my husband's a good sport about the whole thing, even if these aren't the same Christmas traditions he's used to. And after being married for several years now he's used to me wanting to keep all those American holiday traditions alive in Egypt.

Even if sometimes it seems like I'm forcing it to feel like Christmas. And that can be downright exhausting.

Anyone else ever feel that way?

This is the life of an expat living abroad. We celebrate our holidays and traditions the best way we can. The longer the span of time you spend abroad, a little more distant you feel when the holidays come around.

One interesting fact is that most Egyptian Christians celebrate Christmas on January 7 instead of December 25. Apparently Eastern Orthodox national churches in Egypt, Greece and Russia (to name a few) use the Julian calendar rather than the Gregorian calendar (used by Catholics and most Protestants as well) which means that holidays such as Christmas and sometimes Easter fall on a different day.

My son is going to love this when he gets older. What more could a little guy ask for than to get 2 Christmases every year?

Anyhow here we are again, it's Christmas Eve. The tree is sparkling, the cookies baked, presents wrapped, and all that's left is to attend the candlelight service at church tonight.

Merry Christmas everyone! May it be blessed wherever you are in the world!

The Wonder Years, Part 5: Making Egyptian Friends

Friends make the world go round. Sure it's your family that has to love you through thick and thin, but it's your friends that CHOOSE to love you.

Plus they make life a whole lot more fun.

Egyptians are friendly. There is no doubt about that. I would say that most newcomers could agree with that, considering how many "Welcome to Egypt" greetings you might get your first several years here.

I always say that the sign that you've been here long enough to fit in is when you don't have people coming up to you and saying that to you here in the street.

Making local friends is an important step to settling down in Egypt.

I already told you about how hard it was for me to begin to learn to speak the language here and how I suffered from the side-effects of culture shock early on during my first years in Egypt. So I guess it's no surprise to you that I didn't make any Egyptian friends until after I'd been here for several months.

I think that if I'd made Egyptian friends earlier that I would have had an easier time those first few months.

But once I did find some locals to become friends with, this was all I needed to open the door to me feeling at home in Egypt. Of course it helped that I had learned a little Arabic and understood a little more of the Egyptian culture by this time.

I wouldn't say it's hard to make friends in Egypt. It's just that it's not something you can really measure at first. So when you think you've made a friend, maybe in a week's time they won't call you back. Or maybe someone you hadn't counted on becoming friends with sticks to you like glue.

In the beginning I found it easier to befriend the people I spent the most time with. Since most of my time was spent studying Arabic, I became friends with my Arabic language helper (a girl my age who helped me practice Arabic and learn about Egyptian culture 3 times a week). Also I enjoyed being with my Arabic grammar tutor who I met with twice a week - an older lady but still friendly.

I did also get the chance to spend two weeks with a young married Egyptian couple as a sort of cultural immersion experience. So after struggling through speaking all Arabic to the wife for two weeks and getting to know all her family and friends (especially from the church), I because such good friends with her I decided to marry her older brother.

Okay, so it wasn't JUST because I liked her so much. (He was pretty great himself...)

So my Egyptian friends were mostly the people around me, people I saw on a fairly regular basis. I didn't usually consider people I met while I was out and about as friends.

In fact, it's pretty difficult to become friends with just someone off the street. I'm not saying it can't happen in Egypt, just that it can be hard to really make that kind of a connection out on the streets of Cairo. Seriously, do you meet your friends back home while you're out at the mall? Most people become friends with people they know - not complete strangers. I'm not saying it can't be done, just that it's difficult.

But I can honestly say that I had some great friends in Egypt after I'd been here for a while. They have been such a help in making Egypt feel more like home to me.

And now that I live in Egypt full-time, well, since so many expats come and go every few years, it is nice to know that there are some Egyptians that will stand with me through the years, regardless of circumstance.

And despite the fact that I'm still American and stick my foot in my mouth occasionally...

There are some definite advantages to having Egyptians as friends:

They open the door to the Egyptian culture. Sure after living for so long in Egypt, I could sit here and try to give you a rundown of all the things you need to know about living in Egypt... or you could watch them being lived out by an Egyptian. Which is more interesting? Which is more accurate? (Trust me, after almost 8 years in Egypt, I still make mistakes)

They can teach you Arabic. The only skill they need is to be a native speaker. An Egyptian can tell you if you're pronouncing something incorrectly... and they can tell you how to say it right. You can (and will) learn all kinds of new vocabulary from them.

Egypt is their world. They know all the best stores to buy things. They know all the best places to eat and drink. You'll experience things you'd never dream of doing simply because you're with an Egyptian. It doesn't get any better than that.

Let me just say that I was more than thankful for the friends I had back then... they certainly made Egypt a home away from home for me.

Just keep in mind these important things when trying to make friends in Egypt:

Be sincere. People anywhere in the world respond to sincerity. Cross-cultural communication doesn't really allow for that "fake it till you make it" stuff. If you don't mean it, don't say it. (This is not to be confused with some of the cultural traditions you might pick up in Egypt.)

It takes time. Be patient. Friendships don't happen overnight. I've found that a real friendship develops with shared experiences which, of course, requires time. Try not to get discouraged (like I did in the beginning) if you can't write home about all the new friends you're making in the first weeks (or months) you live in Egypt.

Another thing about time is simply that Egyptians spend more time with their friends than we're used to back home in the States. So if I hung out with my best friend once every couple of weeks, here they might see their friend minimum of once a week and they talk to them even more often. My husband talks to most of his closest friends on a daily basis, and if he doesn't call them - they call him.

Be a friend first. An Egyptian you meet may not understand that you want to be friends with him or her (stick to same genders please, ladies to ladies and guys to guys, just to be on the safe side). You might have to make a little more effort from your side from the beginning.

Learn the Egyptian culture. The first mistake a lot of expats make when they try to become friends with locals is they put their foot right in their mouth by saying the wrong thing. They say something (usually a direct translation from their native language to the Arabic) and it just doesn't mean the same thing here. Depending on how much exposure your newfound *friend* has had to Western culture, they might not be so forgiving if you say or do something wrong (or offensive). I'm not saying don't make mistakes, because - let's face it - nobody can just move to Egypt, learn the language and assimilate into the culture without making any mistakes. I'm saying just be aware. Try to learn all you can.

Don't force it. Just because an Egyptian is friendly doesn't mean that they necessarily want to be your friend. If they give you their number and then don't answer your calls, then they don't want to be your friend. Or if they do and yet they never call you back on their own, well they probably don't want to be your friend then either. Trust me, if they never EVER call you - they don't really want to be your friend.

Location matters. It's hard to be friends with someone who lives all the way across town. But if you find someone who lives close to you, you might find it easier to keep that connection with them in the long run.

Don't get discouraged. Lots of people who move to a new country don't know anyone when they first get there. You're in the same boat that every other expat has been in. If you can't find local friends, stick with your expat ones for now. But keep trying to get out there and meet people. You might be surprised at the friends you'll make in the end.

Also, don't get discouraged if your friend doesn't open up his or her entire life to you right away. Maybe if you're female the family might want to meet you to make sure you're a *good girl* for their daughter to spend time with. But often you might just meet with your friend one-on-one. Eventually they might introduce you to other friends, but again just be patient and try not to force the issue. You don't want to make them uncomfortable.

Try not to complain. Egyptian friends are not the people you should complain about Egypt to. I don't care if you hate the traffic, hate the crowds, hate the dust, the pollution, the heat... try to find something positive about Egypt when you talk with your Egyptian friends. And ESPECIALLY do NOT complain about the Egyptian people to Egyptians... be careful not to make any kind of negative generalizations about Egyptians in their presence. Trust me, they won't say it, but they'll be wondering if you think that of them in the back of their minds.

They're just people too. Maybe this is just an American thing, but I've had to catch myself from thinking about how much better things are in the United States than they are here. Sure, there's room for improvement in Egypt in many ways but we can still come here as expats and learn from the people here. So if you have in your mind that you're somehow *better* than Egyptians (even in the very very back of your mind), this might be an unconscious barrier to making any real friends here.

All in all, the point is that if you're living in Egypt as an expat you're missing out on the most important part of the Egyptian experience if you don't make local friends here.

Because the best part about Egypt is the Egyptians.

Don't forget to check out the rest of this series:
The Wonder Years, Part 1: Arriving in Cairo
The Wonder Years, Part 2: Learning to Speak Arabic
The Wonder Years, Part 3: Seeing the Sights of Cairo
The Wonder Years, Part 4: Dealing with Culture Shock

The Wonder Years is a series about Erin's first 2 years in Cairo before she met and married her Egyptian husband. Stay tuned for more of her adventures in Egypt the first time around.

Buying Children's Books in Cairo

Reading is definitely one of those things you really want to encourage in your children from a young age. At least that's what I read in the books and online.

And I've seen this to be true from my own childhood, having grown up in a family that reads as well.

One of the first things I wanted to do for my son was to read to him. This was, of course, after the initial shock of becoming a mother in a foreign country wore off.

Except I didn't have any books yet to read to him.

Luckily my family - who came from the States to visit last Christmas right after he was born - very generously provided those first books (especially my dear sister) for us.

At first it felt a little silly to read out loud to my son. I mean, he was barely awake or sleeping. But I kept reading that reading was so important so I trucked on.

And I have to say that after several months of reading to him, he began to show interest in the books. Now at one year old he is pulling the books off the shelf and flipping through them himself.

Not a reader yet but hey, we've got plenty of time for that.

And while I was able to stock up on books the two times we visited the States this year, there is still a limit to how many books you can carry in your suitcase. Trust me on this, you need to WEIGH your bag before you get to the airport and have to go running to the airport store to buy another suitcase because the books are just too much!

So I have kept my eyes open here in Cairo for good places to buy books for kids. There are quite a few places to pick up books for kids. Most of what I have been buying lately is still board books, but there are lots of others out there as well.

Here are a few places I would recommend:

Virgin Mega Store. located in City Stars. Provides a decent selection of books for younger children in English. There is also a small section of books for young readers in English. Good place to buy pregnancy and baby books as well.

Diwan Bookstore. several locations around the city (Zamalek, Maadi, Heliopolis). The store in Heliopolis has a big section upstairs for kids and also has a great selection of pregnancy and baby books.

The Bookspot. located in Maadi (Road 9). Great location with a surprising selection of books for all ages (considering how small it looks from the outside). They also carry used books.

What about you? Where do you buy books in Egypt?

Egypt Essentials: The Stationery Shop

There are some things here in Egypt that I could live without... and others that I rely on time and time again. The typical stationery shop in Egypt is the latter. I honestly don't know what I'd do without them.

You KNOW how I love Walmart, but since there's not one here I have to make do with what's available.

And that's where the stationery shop comes in...

I mean it's not like I go running to one just about every day or even every week. But there are times - like today - that I need something random like Christmas wrapping paper and I know just where to get it.

You might be surprised at what these places carry. Here's a small list:
*Notebooks of all sizes
*Notepads of all kinds and sizes
*Pens (ballpoint and gel)
*Pencils (the graphite and mechanical kinds)
*Colored pencils
*Markers of all types
*Envelopes of all sizes (white, brown, A4, A5, etc.)
*Staples & staplers
*Rubber bands, paperclips, scissors, etc.
*Greeting cards
*Wrapping paper
*Gift bags
*Day planners
*Picture frames
*Candles
*Books (used & new)
*Arabic-English dictionaries
*Calendars
*Magazines

Trust me, I used to be an office manager for an Egyptian company here, so I KNOW that these places carry what you need. If you can't find it in one place, ask them and they might be able to order it for you or maybe direct you to another place that might carry it.

Unless you're me - who still brings packs of my favorite blue Pilot G2 0.7mm fine point gel rolling ball pens from the States and hoards them for years, only opening a new pack of 3 when ABSOLUTELY necessary!

But that's just me.

I do have a favorite stationery shop in Egypt. My particular favorite has been Everyman's in Korba, Heliopolis for years. And let me just say that this place rocks!

Everyman's has the best selection of wrapping paper, gift bags, and greeting cards year-round here on the main floor along with other great items like picture frames. Upstairs is a haven of basic office supply items including some of my favorites like good-quality notebooks (which can be hard to find here), blue gel 0.7mm pens, and those A5 brown envelopes with bubble paper inside (great for sending things back to KY), along with new & used books (a pretty good selection of books about Egypt if I'm in a pinch and have no time to run to Diwan).

Today I went looking for Christmas wrapping paper and I was pleased that - as usual - they had a great selection of paper available. There were also these great Christmas tins that I can imagine would make great gifts (fill them with Patchi chocolates or homemade fudge). I even found gift tags, something I don't usually find in Egypt.

I didn't make it downstairs today, but I know that they usually have a great selection of knick-knacks like candles and figurines and such. This time of year, they are sure to have Christmas decorations like lights and garland among other things available.

In case you don't live in Heliopolis, I can recommend a few other places:
Samir & Aly (branches all across Cairo)
Bakier Stationery (Maadi, new branch now in Korba-Heliopolis)
Volume 1 (Maadi)
Attic Stationery

I have to say, though, that you'd be surprised at how much those little shops can carry - even that small one you have around the corner in Cairo. Plus they are a great place to make cheap copies (they'll even bind copies together into a book for a small fee).

Seriously, you can't really live in Egypt for very long without walking into one. They might seem a bit cheesy on the outside, but I promise there's much more than meets the eye inside.

What about you? Any recommendations for a great stationery shop near you (if you live in Cairo)?

Holiday Cooking Overseas: Christmas Cookies

There is nothing that smells like Christmas more than the smell of sugar cookies baking in the oven. I can remember this from my childhood. We'd help my dad string the lights on the tree while my mom baked up a batch of sugar cookie cut-outs in the kitchen.

Oh the memories the thought of that smell brings me now!

I'm one of those people that likes to carry on the traditions we had growing up, are you like that too? And it doesn't really matter that I live in Egypt now. I still like to put up the Christmas tree, decorate the house with poinsettias, and - of course - bake Christmas cookies.

And while the nostalgia of it all sometimes makes me a little more homesick than usual when December 25th comes around, but at the same time it just doesn't feel like Christmas without them.

As most of you know, I have a 1-year-old son. So this time last year, I did not make my usual hoard of Christmas cookies for gifts to family and friends because I'd just given birth to a beautiful baby boy.

Something about not getting a full night's sleep that just takes the baking urge right out of you!

But this year I've been dying to jump back into my Christmas baking. Unfortunately with said 1-year-old, I can only bake when he's taking a nap or in bed for the night. But I still managed to whip up a batch of sugar cookie dough earlier this week while he was sleeping.

The problem is that my tried-and-true recipe for sugar cookies makes 8 dozen cookies! Well, I have a solution for some of those... namely the tea time after church tomorrow, especially since it's Christmas and everyone's bringing cookies. But don't worry, I've got plans for that other 4-dozen sugar cookies that the other half of the dough will make.

Here's the recipe, in case you've been looking for a great recipe (especially if you'd like to share a few cookies with some friends because it makes A LOT):

Classic Sugar Cookies
Makes: 8 dozen cookies

3 cups powdered sugar
2 cups butter, softened (as in room temperature, not melted)
2 tsp. vanilla
1 tsp. almond extract
2 eggs
5 cups flour
2 tsp. baking soda
2 tsp. cream of tartar

In LARGE bowl, beat 3 cups powdered sugar, the butter, vanilla, almond extract, and eggs with electric mixer on medium speed (or with a spoon if you don't have a mixer). Stir in flour, baking soda, and cream of tartar. Cover and refrigerate at least 2 hours.

Heat oven to 375 degrees F (175 degrees C). Lightly grease cookie sheet (if you don't have a non-stick one). On lightly floured surface, roll each half 1/8 inch thick. Cut into desired shapes with 3-inch cookie cutters. Place about 2 inches apart on cookie sheet.

Bake 5-7 minutes or until edges are light brown. Remove from cookie sheet to wire rack. Cool completely about 30 minutes.

Notes:

• You don't want the dough to warm up too much so only take out enough to roll out cookies for one cookie sheet at a time. Then after you cut out the cookies, roll the scraps up into a ball and put back into the refrigerator to chill before reusing.
• The thinner the cookies, the better they keep their shape. Something about the Cairo air makes my cookies spread like wildfire in the oven so I make them as thin as evenly possible (watch them if you do this because they may only need 4 minutes if they're really thin).
• I usually split the dough in half and roll into long logs before wrapping them up in plastic wrap and refrigerating. I find the logs are easier to cut off just enough for one sheet of cookies than a big glob in a bowl.
• My favorite way to decorate is using sprinkles and egg yolk paint BEFORE the cookies bake. This keeps the cookies simple and less sugary (Egyptians aren't used to really sweet cookies with icing).
• Make sure you sift the powdered sugar in advance. A great makeshift sifter is a mesh strainer - I actually find this easier to use here because sometimes the powdered sugar in Egypt is really lumpy.

UPDATE - Sugar Cooking Icing Recipe: Combine 3 tbsp softened butter, 1 1/2 cups sifted powdered sugar, 1 tsp vanilla, and 1 1/2 tbsp milk until reaches a smooth consistency. You may want to add more milk if it's too thick for you. Add any color food coloring you like (start with 3-4 drops, then add more drops to darken the color). You can switch out the vanilla for almond extract, lemon juice, or any other flavoring for a different kind of cookie.

Oh how I love cookies at Christmastime!

So I'm sitting here now and contemplating if I can manage to make any more cookies. Because you have to understand that my usual Christmas cookie repertoire includes about 6 or 7 different kinds. So whether it's Buckeyes or Thumbprints or - my particular favorite - Christmas Casserole (these delightful little balls filled with dates, walnuts, and coconut) cookies, I am going to try to find the time to make something else as well. 

What about you? Do you make Christmas cookies at Christmastime? Or do you have a favorite cookie you like to eat this time of year?

And in case you live in Cairo and don't have the time or energy to make Christmas cookies yourself, you might check out the Sugar n' Spice shop (6 Brazil St, just around the corner from the Mobinil shop) in Zamalek.