Confessions of an Expat Mom: Babysitter Woes

I love my son. And as much as I love my son, I keep thinking to myself... it sure would be nice to be able to do ONE thing without him every once in a while.

Is that too much to ask?

Finding a babysitter in Egypt is difficult. Ask any mom who lives here and you'll most likely hear a long, drawn-out story about how they either found the babysitter they have (grrrr) or their lack of babysitter and why.

I would be a member of the latter group.

It is interesting to see how carefully people guard their babysitters in Egypt. I mean, seriously, it's not like I'm trying to steal her away from you to offer her a full-time job here - I just want one hour or two to myself.

Egyptians themselves don't seem to suffer from a lack of babysitters. With apparently entire families of baby-lovin' women sitting at home willing and able to watch children at the drop of the hat, I have yet to hear of someone not being able to attend a certain event because they couldn't find a babysitter. In fact, I don't think the thought ever crossed their mind.

I know, I know, I could be WAY off but it's just the way I see things from where I sit.

My husband is sympathetic to my plight. At least he seems to be. And while he DID offer to stay with our son at home while he takes a nap on Fridays so that I can go to the ladies gym for an hour or so, I've yet to take him up on that offer.

But I still might.

All in all I really can do most things I want to do in Egypt. But it takes so much more time and energy from me to do the same things I did before I had my son.

Because you can't just pop out the door on a whim the way you used to anymore. It takes a good 15-20 minutes (or some SERIOUS pre-planning) to get out the door with you, your baby and all your stuff. Even if you're like me and keep using the same bag from day to day, there's still so much to take care of first.

Still don't understand what I mean?

Here's a list of all the stuff I have to bring with me every time we go out the door.
*Diapers
*Wipes
*Toys
*Change of clothes
*Wallet
*Sunglasses
*Packs of tissues
*Chapstick
*Pen AND paper
*Mobile phone
*Food
*Juice/water
*Blanket

See why I dread going out sometimes? I'm already sitting here now and thinking about all the stuff I need to prepare for our trip out today and it makes me cringe.

So, yes, it would be nice to have a sitter available every once in a while.

Perhaps the solution to all of this would be to put my son into a daycare center. I know for many expats (like myself) putting your child into a daycare so that you can sit at home alone seems awfully selfish.

Because isn't the best person to take care of my son (and be there for every single moment) his mother?

Yes, it is. So sometimes even the THOUGHT of putting my son at his age seems somehow lazy and selfish. Sure I want the best for my son. And I certainly don't want to miss out on all those important moments (those first-time for doing... a moment that can never be replaced).

And I am happy to be a stay-at-home expat mom. It's a challenge and a blessing all at the same time.

I know I am not alone in my feelings. Mothers I've met in Egypt with children young and old all face these kinds of issues at one time or another. It might look or smell a bit different. But we are living in a culture very different from what we're used to back home.

I know for me that childcare in the States is viewed very different than they see it here in Egypt. I started babysitting when I was in my early teens. My sister still works part-time as a nanny (and she's a college-grad working on her MBA). It's actually pretty good money if you're willing to sacrifice the time (and the evenings).

In Egypt, Egyptian teenage girls do not babysit. Even college-aged girls don't babysit. I think there are several reasons for this: (1) young people do not usually work until they finish school and (2) young ladies don't know much about taking care of kids.

So it seems that only older Egyptian ladies babysit.

Of course many foreigners (and Egyptians) go the route of hiring a nanny. But I am not so desperate as to give up my one-on-one time with my son just so I can leave him with someone once or twice a week. Plus it's expensive.

Maybe one day I'll figure this whole babysitter thing out. If I do, I'll let you know.

What about you? Have you had any luck finding a babysitter in Egypt?

8 Tips for Sightseeing in Egypt with Baby

We went last week to Luxor with my sister. For those of you who don't know what Luxor is, well, it's basically where all the *good* stuff is to see in Egypt.

You want well-preserved walls covered in brightly painted hieroglyphs. Well, you have to go to Luxor.

You want building-high obelisks and large-sized statues of pharoahs or ancient Egyptian gods in their original positions of glory. Well, you have to go to Luxor.

You want to walk through the corridors of Egyptian history at night - perhaps the Sound & Light show at Karnak. Well, the only place you can do that is Luxor.

I guess you've got the picture.

Now I have done a lot of sightseeing in Egypt over the years. But I hadn't done any with my son before now. So when it came to planning our trip to Luxor, I was a bit nervous because I wasn't quite sure how he was going to do.

I had a lot of questions about trying to go sightseeing with a young child in Egypt.

• Would I be able to use our stroller or would I be limited to our carrier? Would my son take to the carrier (he hadn't been much of a fan of it when he was younger)?
• What about meals? How were we going to find food for our son? Would any of the restaurants have highchairs?
• What about the hotel? Could he sleep in a bed provided by the hotel or should we bring our own?

These are good questions to ask whenever you go just about anywhere in the world with a baby.

I find that no matter where I go with my son that I need to be as flexible as possible. While it's good to plan in advance, I always keep in mind that plans (particularly in Egypt and ESPECIALLY with a little one) are mostly suggestions than actual step-by-step guides.

For example, I brought the carrier with us to Luxor planning to use it solely as a backpack. Having been to Luxor myself once before, I knew that most of the sites were not stroller-friendly so we wouldn't be able to bring the stroller along.

And our son was pretty happy the first couple of days sitting in the carrier as a backpack. We went to the Valley of the Kings that second day in Luxor, and he even slept about halfway through our time there. We just pulled that sunshade up over his head and off we went down into all those tombs.

However, our second day in Luxor ended at the Temple of Karnak where we went for the Sound & Light show. It was dark and we had to walk in the midst of a crowd of people for a while and then stand waiting for the next part of the narration. My son was happy during most of the walking part in the carrier on my husband's back. However, into the 2nd part of the show he started fussing as we stood for maybe 10 minutes listening to the narration.

Nothing my husband could do was making him happy. He bounced him around in the carrier. He took him out of the carrier. He let him stand on the base of one of the big columns (although I promise his little hands didn't touch anything ancient).

Finally I took him and realized that my arms were not going to hold out till the end of the show. So in exasperation I decided to try switching the carrier to the front instead of the back.

Problem solved.

Here are a few things I would recommend regarding how to make sightseeing (and travel) in Egypt with baby easier:

1. Don't go it alone. Quite frankly if my husband hadn't been there to take my son at times, I couldn't have made it to that last day in Luxor. It would be extremely exhausting if you don't have someone to help carry baby or feed baby or play with baby while you're trying to see the sites.

2. Invest in a baby carrier (or borrow one). We bought this carrier before our son was born and had used it only once since he was born. But like I told my husband last week, that carrier more than paid for itself during our trip to Luxor. I would highly recommend one that is back-friendly such as the Beco or Ergo carriers. You will thank yourself after you're through climbing out of one of those tombs in Luxor (after having climbed down into it). Oh, and don't forget to use that sunshade included with the carrier - there may be no real break from the sun until you're done at that site.

3. Use a travel highchair. A friend lent us a Totseat for our trip to Luxor, and even though I was a bit skeptical at first about using it, it became a very useful item during our trip. I take our stroller everywhere in Cairo, and it often doubles as a highchair for us when highchairs are unavailable. However, in Luxor we were often out without the stroller (or it took up too much room to keep it out for our son to sit in). So as a last resort I packed the Totseat in my bag thinking we'd just hold him in our laps anyways. I was wrong, and I wish I'd had one of these portable cloth travel highchairs earlier.

4. Pace yourself. You can be out all day in the hot sun when you don't have kids with you. Sure you'll suffer a bit later and come back to the hotel exhausted, but you'll be okay. This is not a good idea when you have a little one.

I would definitely recommend that you take a break in the middle of the day with a young child. Sure they can sleep in the carrier, but it's a lot hotter in Egypt than you realize so they may just need the break from the sun that going back to the hotel affords.

Plus if your child is anything like mine, he or she will enjoy the freedom of playing on the floor of the hotel room with toys from home than being cooped up all day in a carrier.

5. Bring baby bowls and utensils with you. This seems like a no-brainer to me, but I thought I'd throw that in there. I was able to snag some fruit off the breakfast buffet for our son, cut it up, and feed it to him later while we were out. Cheerios and Kiri-sandwiches are great for snacks, but fresh fruit is even better.

By the way, those plastic bowls also make great bath-time toys (rinsed out, of course) on the fly when you suddenly realize that you've got nothing to keep your son distracted while you scrub all that ancient dust off of him.

6. Double-check that the hotel has baby beds available. We were so very close to having to let our son sleep in between us on our big bed that I was almost too scared to think of how I was ever going to manage that. Be very clear that you need a crib for a baby (or cot, as the British call it) so that you don't end up with a rollaway bed for an older child (what they tried to give us at our hotel).

7. Be flexible. Like I mentioned earlier, if there's one thing I learned again last week about taking my son along on a sightseeing trip, it's that I should go with the flow. So even though we started each day with the most difficult thing (farthest tomb up in the Valley of the Kings or the Temple of Hatshepsut, etc.), we didn't stick 100% to our plan. We moved things around a bit in the schedule. We ordered sandwiches in the room one day rather than going out for lunch when my son and my sister both fell asleep right after coming in from our morning sightseeing (this was AFTER our sunrise hot air balloon ride so we were all exhausted).

8. Bring a hat and sunscreen for baby. This was the first week of January! But even though I'd been to Luxor around this time of year before, I'd forgotten how hot the sun can get there. Even though it's not summertime, you still need to be prepared to protect your child (and yourself) from the sun year-round in Egypt. So don't be like me and forget your son's hat at home!

Would I have chosen to bring my son to Egypt to go sightseeing if we didn't already live here? Probably not. But I'm sure one day he'll grow up and look at the pictures and enjoy the fact that he was experiencing history even before he could walk (maybe).

Plus if there's anything I've learned about being a mom overseas so far is that you don't have the luxury here to be afraid of the unknown. It might be scary to get out of the house sometimes to try something in Egypt that you've never done before. But if I didn't try it - well, I might NEVER get out of the house (and that, my friend, would not be a pretty picture).

You just do what you need to do... and baby just goes along for the ride. Sightseeing in Egypt for me was no different.

What about you? Have you been sightseeing with a young child in Egypt (or another country)? If so, what other tips can you share?

Confessions of an Expat Mom: Resisting the Urge to Compare

Everything I read as a new mom told me not to compare my child to others. And I've been pretty good overall about realizing that each baby develops at their own rate.

But what I didn't realize about being a mom AND an expat is that it's not just the development issue that tempts us to compare.

It's also our living situations.

It might be about what kind of flat you live in, what type of car you drive (or if you don't have a car), where you're able to shop, what you can afford, how many times a year you're able to fly home for a visit...

Because you meet people of all kinds when you live in a place like Egypt. You might meet oil executives, teachers, American diplomatic workers, people serving in roles of all kinds, foreign women married to Egyptians, people with money and people without, people who've been here for years and others who just arrived...

Some people are happy and well-adjusted. Others are not.

And regardless of where you fit into this list, you might look at someone else and think how easy of a life they've got or how hard your life is. Or you might look at them and realize how easy you've got it.

Either way, I encourage you to resist the urge to compare. 

We all have something unique to offer that no one else has. We all have a mission in life to fulfill. Your family is special, regardless of what you have and don't have.

Don't let it become a barrier for you. Don't let it keep you from making friends with people who are different than you. Don't let it cripple your lifestyle to the point where you can't leave the house. Go out and experience new things.

Honestly this isn't just an issue for expat moms. We all need a little reminder to keep our heads up and our eyes from judging.

Because call me crazy but I find that no matter how sad a story someone has there always seems to be a sadder story that's out there.

This might seem trivial but if you're stuck taking taxis everywhere and wish you could have a car. Well, maybe you'll meet someone who's hauling around 2 kids (and not just 1) across town in a taxi (a black-and-white one, no less) on a regular basis. Or maybe you'll meet another expat family with three little girls all under the age of four who can't afford a car.

Kind of puts things into perspective, doesn't it? I whine about things sometimes and then I meet someone who makes me look at my life. And then I kick myself for ever thinking I've got it so hard.

And if you're frustrated because you can't find Cheerios at the 10th place you've looked. Or the right kind of soy formula your baby needs because he's lactose intolerant. Or that brand of diapers you always use for your infant.

Well, unfortunately sometimes things don't go the way we want them to. And no matter how well we plan when we live abroad, something always happens to throw everything off.

But the worst thing you can do in a time like that is let it get to you. Please, for my sake, don't let it get you down.

You never know what tomorrow will bring. Tomorrow is a brand new day. And tomorrow you're sure to discover something new that you'd never find in your home country.

Being an expat isn't easy. Being a mom isn't easy. Just get through today and see what tomorrow has in store for you.

Buying Children's Books in Cairo

Reading is definitely one of those things you really want to encourage in your children from a young age. At least that's what I read in the books and online.

And I've seen this to be true from my own childhood, having grown up in a family that reads as well.

One of the first things I wanted to do for my son was to read to him. This was, of course, after the initial shock of becoming a mother in a foreign country wore off.

Except I didn't have any books yet to read to him.

Luckily my family - who came from the States to visit last Christmas right after he was born - very generously provided those first books (especially my dear sister) for us.

At first it felt a little silly to read out loud to my son. I mean, he was barely awake or sleeping. But I kept reading that reading was so important so I trucked on.

And I have to say that after several months of reading to him, he began to show interest in the books. Now at one year old he is pulling the books off the shelf and flipping through them himself.

Not a reader yet but hey, we've got plenty of time for that.

And while I was able to stock up on books the two times we visited the States this year, there is still a limit to how many books you can carry in your suitcase. Trust me on this, you need to WEIGH your bag before you get to the airport and have to go running to the airport store to buy another suitcase because the books are just too much!

So I have kept my eyes open here in Cairo for good places to buy books for kids. There are quite a few places to pick up books for kids. Most of what I have been buying lately is still board books, but there are lots of others out there as well.

Here are a few places I would recommend:

Virgin Mega Store. located in City Stars. Provides a decent selection of books for younger children in English. There is also a small section of books for young readers in English. Good place to buy pregnancy and baby books as well.

Diwan Bookstore. several locations around the city (Zamalek, Maadi, Heliopolis). The store in Heliopolis has a big section upstairs for kids and also has a great selection of pregnancy and baby books.

The Bookspot. located in Maadi (Road 9). Great location with a surprising selection of books for all ages (considering how small it looks from the outside). They also carry used books.

What about you? Where do you buy books in Egypt?

Getting Immunizations Abroad

Have I mentioned before that being a parent overseas can be a bit scary at times? No? Well, it can. And there is nothing more nerve-wracking than to watch a doctor poke your son with a needle, especially in a foreign country.

Vaccinations are just one of those necessary evils.

We parents all know this. But I must admit that I didn't know much about them before I became a parent myself.

Sure, I'd gotten all those shots before I arrived in Egypt that first time. I was given a list of what I needed and the doctor gave them to me. That was about it.

And if you have kids before you move abroad, you're sure to take care of this issue long before you step foot in a foreign country. But what if you give birth to a child in a foreign country? What do you do about vaccinations then?

After I had my son last year, one of the first things we had to think about was getting him immunized properly here in Egypt.

I had a lot of questions rolling around in my head about giving my son vaccinations in Egypt. Were the vaccinations in Egypt safe? Were they as effective as the ones back home? How would my son react to them? Would he get all the right ones that he needed here? What would happen if we had to move home to the States, would they be considered *done* even if he'd gotten them abroad?

These are all valid questions for a new mom living abroad to ask, don't you think?

And wherever you live I have found that the best thing to do when getting started with vaccinations is to do a little research. Well at least that's what I did.

Being American, I looked up the U.S. vaccination schedule online on the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) website. I printed it out and took it to our pediatrician in Egypt and discussed it with him. I compared it to the one here in Egypt. I read about vaccinations in the baby books. I talked about with other expat moms.

My theory is that you can never have too much information when it comes to your kids. Just make sure that the information you're getting (and relying on) is from credible sources.

And actually you might be surprised to learn - like I was - that vaccinations given in Egypt are pretty similar to what you have back home. For example, the only vaccination my son's received so far that is not listed on the U.S. schedule was the BCG for tuberculosis. And the timing of shots for him here has been fairly on target with what's customary in the States as well.

Here is what he has received so far (and when he received them):

• BCG: (shot) Newborn
• Rotavirus: (oral) 6 weeks, 12 weeks, 23 weeks
• Polio: (oral) 8 weeks, 16 weeks, 25 weeks
• DTP/Hib/HepB (combination): (shot) 8 weeks, 16 weeks, 25 weeks 
• Pneumococal (PCV): (shot) 10 weeks, 18 weeks, 27 weeks
• MMR: (shot) 12 months old
• Future vaccinations scheduled: 
• Chicken Pox (varicella): 13 months old
• HepA: 14 months old

A note about vaccinations in Egypt: In Egypt, you can choose to get vaccinations done at the pediatrician of your choice or at an Egyptian government health clinic. Although as I understand it that once you start with one, you must continue with that choice. We were told that shots from the health clinic may be more *fresh* although in the end we decided to have our son's pediatrician give our son his shots.

I still need to make sure his immunization records are in order for when our son starts school (either here in Egypt or back home in the States). In case you're American and wondering about this for yourself, the CDC has all the state vaccination requirements available in one place.

Now I don't know where you are and what is available where you're at so if you're reading this and wondering about vaccinations for your child where you live abroad, you will need to do a little legwork to make sure you have all the info you need.

The CDC has great health information specific to Egypt available as well. If you're not in Egypt, you may be able to find your destination here. And here is another great resource for vaccination information as well.

My advice for getting vaccinations for your child in a foreign country:

1. Print out the vaccination schedule from your home country (if this is what you feel the most comfortable with).
2. Don't be shy to talk to your pediatrician abroad about it. Ask a million questions if you need to. A good doctor will understand your need to discuss it.
3. Ask about the local immunization schedule and standards for children. You may be surprised that it might not be so different from your own.
4. Keep track of updated information regarding vaccinations in both countries (abroad and back home). More information comes out every year and it's important that we as parents know what's going on. One way to stay up-to-date is to sign up for email updates from the CDC.
5. If you have a pediatrician or family doctor back in your home country, ask them about vaccinations as well. They may not be able to tell you about the country you're in, but they can certainly answer any questions you might have about what your child needs according to that country's standards.

What about you? Have you had experience giving your child vaccinations in a foreign country?

Activities for Baby in Egypt: A Review of Dados Egypt

Finding things to do with a young child in Egypt is not easy. This has been a great source of frustration for me, particularly being from a place like Kentucky where green grass is everywhere and activities for children abound.

Here in Egypt green spaces are usually surrounded by a fence, and you have to pay admission to enter by the gate. Then once you get inside, you find the playground old and decrepit and unsafe for young children.

All I wanted was to let my son swing, for heaven's sake. Was this too much to ask?!

Our solution to this problem finally was to join an Egyptian sporting club. But that is a subject for another time.

So when it came time to think about trying to find any sort of class for my son - music, art, or even just story time - I honestly had no clue where to begin. At first I was determined to find something close to home. He was young and took naps at random times, so I preferred to stay on our side of town.

Then I discovered Dados. A friend of mine had taken her son to both the Music and Create Fun classes in Maadi and recommended both classes to me.

So we tried a Create Fun class. The age range for this class is pretty large, from 10 months to 3 years. It's all about letting your child discover things through his senses.

My son at the Create Fun class

For example, we went to a class based around rice. Each activity allowed him to discover rice in a different way.

1. Small square bean bags filled with rice to throw and touch.
2. Larger socks filled to the brim with rice that to bang on the padded floor.
3. A baby pool filled with rice allowed him to sit in the rice and discover the feel of it on his hands and feet.
4. Cooked rice to squeeze out into ropes to feel it (and taste it) on his hands.
5. Finally making a *sushi* snack of bread, cream cheese, cucumber, and rice. 

We tried the Music class as well. This particular class is perfect for my son at his age now (1 year). The age range is from 3 months to 5 years (although most of the children in the class are 1 to 2 years old).

With the music class, the teacher brings out a new instrument for each song. At the age of 1 year, it is helping him to learn not just about music but also how to watch the teacher and to play his instrument at the same time. Then at the end of each song, they *clean-up* together by putting up the toys. This is a difficult lesson for him to learn (giving away the new toy after just a few minutes), but he is also watching the other kids and learning this way as well.

We live in Heliopolis and have tried the classes in our part of town. But I personally enjoy the Dados center downtown in Zamalek more, even if it is farther away.

There are other classes offered at the Zamalek center that are not offered anywhere else. For example, there is a Story Fun class on Saturdays that we might try because I believe my son might enjoy as well.

All in all, I must say that I have been impressed with the overall experience with Dados. These are the first of this type of classes that I have tried with my son, and he has enjoyed them thus far.

I have been looking into other classes like this around town, so if I find anything else I will be sure to let you know. What about you? What kinds of activities do you do with your child?

Finding Baby Items in Egypt

Last week I mentioned that my son just turned 1 year old recently. And while having a baby in Egypt has been one of the greatest blessings for me here, I have often found it a challenge to find the things I need for him here.

Yes, I know I've been home to Kentucky twice in the past year so what am I complaining about?

Well, I can't buy EVERYTHING in the States. Some things just don't last long enough to warrant them valuable enough to bring back to Egypt from America.

That and they won't fit in a suitcase. (I know, I tried)

But seriously, in case you're wondering yourself about where to get things for a baby in Cairo. Because there are a lot of things available here, but sometimes you just have to look where you least expect things to be to find them.

Here's a rundown of some everyday baby items you might be looking for:

Diapers. Supermarkets, pharmacies, and Seif stores (City Stars, Maadi, Giza). My personal favorite is the Pampers brand (Premium Care, white package, imported from Saudi Arabia)

Diaper wipes. Supermarkets, pharmacies, Seif stores (City Stars, Maadi, Giza), and Mothercare stores (City Stars, Maadi, 6 October). I stick with the Pampers brand. My 2nd choice is Johnson & Johnson.

Antibacterial wipes. Supermarkets, some pharmacies. I use these to wipe down a table or a highchair before I put my son's food out on it. I like the Wet Ones brand (you can find the individual travel packs).

Shampoo, conditioner, baby wash. Supermarkets, pharmacies. Just about everyone carries the Johnson & Johnson brand which is supposed to be tear-free. Honestly what we use is a Johnson & Johnson head-to-toe baby wash brought from the States (it's not available yet in Egypt). We did use a Sanosan (blue bottle) bath and shampoo combo wash when our son was first born that was okay.

Diaper rash cream. Larger pharmacies. You might have to look around for this because it comes and goes. Mine is from the States because 1 jar lasts forever. My advice is if you can't have someone bring you some and you're nervous about diaper rash, you can use a small amount of olive oil until you can find some here.

Bottles, nipples, breast pumps, sterilizers. Toys R' Us (Babies R' Us section in the back) carries the hands-down best selection in Egypt. Mothercare may have a few things and you might find bottles in a Seif store or various pharmacies. But the prices at Toys R' Us are better. I recommend the Avent (Philips) brand.

Bibs. Mothercare probably has the best selection I've seen all the way up to toddler-age. A lot of ours are from the States. Sometimes you can find them where they sell baby clothes.

Teething rings. Toys R' Us, Mothercare, Seif stores, some pharmacies. Toys R' Us carries the Avent brand which has different teething rings for different stages. I bought my son a teething rattle from the Seif store that he loved.

Teething gels. I have not seen this here in Egypt. You might check in a larger pharmacy first. Ours is from the States.

Baby brush, nail clippers, droppers. Mothercare had sets including these items. Ours is from the States. You might find these individually in a pharmacy.

Baby bathtub. Cheap and available just about anywhere (try Spinney's or Carrefour for cheaper ones, Toys R' Us/Mothercare/Hallmark store for a Fisher Price or other name brand). If you have a little baby that needs a support, I'd go with the Fisher Price brand. We bought a little white *chair* that fit inside a regular baby bathtub that held our son at an angle so that we could wash him without having to hold him in our arms. It was pretty reasonably priced from Mothercare.

Baby monitor. Toys R' Us and Seif stores are the only places I've seen these so far. Check if they'll work okay in your home, these cement walls are terrible for reception in Egypt.

Bouncy chair. Most toy stores will carry bouncy chairs in Egypt, just sometimes they sell out pretty fast. I hardly ever see them at Toys R' Us. Check Kams stores and Love & Care stores. I recommend the Fisher Price brand.

Baby swing. Expensive and bulky but if you insist to buy one, you might want to price them first before you make a decision. I've seen them at Toys R' Us, Kams, Mothercare (occasionally), Hallmark store, and Premaman (City Stars) store.

Highchair. Do yourself a favor and wait to buy this until they're several months old. We bought our Graco brand highchair at Toys R' Us and we love it. I've seen them at Premaman (City Stars) and Seif stores, as well as Mothercare.

Crib. You need to evaluate your safety priorities before you make this decision. Safety was #1 for me and I wanted a crib built on an international standard. Larger Egyptian toy stores carry cribs sometimes. You can also have one made to your specifications by a carpenter (just check on the mattress size first). Ours is from the Mothercare store.

Mattress. Be careful to buy a mattress where you buy the crib. Dimensions will vary greatly in Egypt and I'm not even sure what is available from a regular mattress store.

Mattress pad. I have never seen these in Egypt. Mine are from the States.

Changing table. I have seen very few changing tables in Egypt. We bought a changing table topper at Mothercare for our son's crib which was (and is still) a lifesaver.

Pack n' play, playyard. Toys R' Us, Seif store, Kams store, Love & Care store, Premaman, and sometimes Mothercare. A bit pricy in Egypt. We don't own one (yet).

Stroller. Toys R' Us, Mothercare, Premaman, Seif stores, Kams store, and Love & Care store. Ours is from the States.

Sheets. Sheets for cribs seem to be a novel idea because I've not really seen them anywhere except Mothercare in Egypt. But take care at Mothercare because what I know as a "crib" is really a "cot" so be careful before you buy something. Another option (which is what we've done for almost all of our sheets) is to take the dimensions of the mattress and had someone make sheets for us. There are many shops that sell bedding & towels that might perform this service for you if you ask. This is cheaper and made to order - can't beat that.

Baby towels & washcloths. Special towels for baby? Someone gave us a set for our newborn boy that included some sort of hooded towel that was from Egypt, but I'm not sure where they bought it. I think you might ask in the same type of shop as the sheets above where to get these. Washcloths (for anyone) don't really exist in Egypt. Most of the ones I've seen for adults are small towels which are not really suited for washing your face with. What we have at home are mostly what my husband has received on an airplane or snagged from a hotel.

BABY  CLOTHES
Onesies. White, short-sleeved, snapped one-piece typically worn by babies as an under-layer. I buy the Gerber brand from the States, but I have bought them here from Ladybird (Toys R' Us brand) and Mothercare. I've seen them also at Spinney's (might check Carrefour as well).

Sleepers. Long-sleeved, footed, snap-up or zippered one-piece typically worn by younger babies to sleep in. Most of mine are from the States (Carter's, Just One You, Okie Dokie brands) but I have had to buy some here as well (sizing can be tricky with a new baby). I've seen these at Mothercare, H&M, United Colors of Benetton, and just about any other store that carries baby clothes.

Shirts, pants, socks, jackets, coats. There are a lot of baby clothes stores in Cairo. Sometimes they have sales with some good deals and/or clearance prices. I've bought random shirts and pants for our son this way to supplement what I've bought in the States. I cannot vouch for the quality of the local Egyptian made items because I haven't had to buy any yet. Most of our stuff from Egypt was bought on sale from stores like H&M (bought some great jeans & overalls there), Mothercare (his coat is from there), United Colors of Benetton (they had a great clearance sale back last summer for winter items), and a few things from the Ladybird section of Toys R' Us.

Shoes. If you're looking for newborn baby shoes, just keep your eye out in stores that sell baby clothes because sometimes they have accessories like shoes as well. There is a section in City Stars on the 4th floor around the corner from the Food Court that has a bunch of kids stores, including 3 or 4 stores dedicated to shoes for kids. You can find shoes in Mothercare. My main concern now with a 1-year-old who will walk soon is finding flexible soles that are easy to get on and off.

MEDICINES
Fever-reducer/pain reliever. Try Infant Panadol.
Cold/cough (under 2). Try a saline rinse like Physiomer (with Baby comfort tip). For anything stronger, I recommend you get a doctor's opinion first.

I find shopping for clothes for any age (including myself) in Egypt a bit of a challenge. This is true especially if you have something specific in mind (which I usually do). I want to buy things that are good quality and are not going to fall apart the first time (or 2nd or 3rd time) I wash something. Make sure you check the washing instructions before you buy anything because I've learned this lesson the hard way by buying something that said don't dry in the dryer (what?!) and I did anyways.

But if you keep your eyes out for things and make a note when you see them at a certain place, this will help you later on when you're in a jam and need something quickly.

Is there anything missing from the list above?

My First Year as an Expat Mom

One year as a new mom in Egypt was vastly different from all my other years in Egypt. Once upon a time I was free to go where I wanted, do what I wanted, and be who I wanted to be pretty much anytime I felt like it.

Well, I guess that's still pretty much true today. It just looks and feels a little different.

Because I'm a mom now.

My son just turned 1 year old yesterday. And people here say that the first year is the most difficult. Do they say that where you're at too? I don't know that I have much to compare this to, but I think I'd believe that statement.

I've realized that there's so much to learn when you become a new mom overseas. It's a very exciting time. There's so much to experience and discover about the world around you and about yourself as well.

In Egypt, I've had to relearn how to do a few things, like how to take a taxi and how to eat out. There are many places I love that aren't very kid-friendly and others I never tried that are great with kids.

Becoming a mother changes your priorities. It has to. Not everything changes and not everything should. The simple truth is that you look at the world differently now.

Unfortunately I wasn't blogging when I gave birth to my son last year. And I kind of wish that I had been so that I could have recorded what was going through my mind at the time.

All I know is that I was overwhelmed. I felt like we had been given this precious gift, and I didn't even begin to know how to take care of him. It was easy to feel a little lost with my family around, especially my mom (although my parents arrived 2 weeks later). And though we were surrounded by all the love of my husband's entire family and church, that was a bit overwhelming in itself... albeit in a good way.

And even after reading so much about what to do and how to be a mother, now it was time for the real thing.

None of this fake it till you make it stuff would do.

These lessons learned helped me survive my first year as an expat mom:

You can never read too much. Reading isn't just about books (although they're important too if you can get them). I have discovered the Internet to be a world of resources for a mom living abroad. It's your own virtual community of helpers to walk you through this time.

Know your limitations but don't be bound by them. Limitations can be physical, mental, and emotional. Some women, for example, have the "baby blues" after having a baby. Others may be incapacitated for a while after having a c-section. You might be overcome with homesickness after giving birth. This is okay and it's completely normal. Just don't let it cripple you from living a normal life now.

Find a pediatrician that you can trust your baby's life with. I know that seems a bit extreme. But living overseas makes us parents very sensitive when it comes to our children's needs. We don't want them to suffer because we've made the choice to live overseas. So when it comes to finding a doctor for your child, it's important for you to be comfortable with that person (and your child as well). We spent a lot of time with our ped this past year so the effort spent making this all-important decision was well worth it, let me tell you.

Go home if you can. Traveling with a baby seems like such an impossible thing to do. Trust me, if I can do it, you can too. My parents came to Egypt last year for the first time when our son was born. It was special to have them here, but it was also nice to go home and introduce my son to my brothers and my grandmother. Plus I got to stock up on baby stuff while I was there.

Know where to buy baby stuff. Sure it was nice to go home and bring a bunch of stuff back to Egypt for our son. But I still know where to get this stuff here as well, because you never know when you'll need something in a pinch.

For example, last week my son lost a shoe as we were fighting the Eid crowd to get into our favorite mall in Cairo (don't ask, it's a loong story). The problem is that he doesn't keep his socks on unless he has shoes on - so I needed some shoes pronto. Luckily I had already scoped out some places for baby shoes so I went right up and bought him a pair right then and there. Problem solved!

Make friends with other expat moms. Don't be a loner. Get out there. Finding other moms to talk to was a life saver for me. And mix it up a bit. Find some moms like you (nationality, beliefs, situation - i.e. married to an Egyptian, etc.) and find some babies like your child (boy or girl, age, etc.) But don't just stick to that. Take advantage of living overseas alongside people of all different backgrounds. You'll appreciate the mix of people, and you won't be so disappointed when they're unavailable to hang out with you. And don't forget that moms of older kids have years of experience to share as well.

Take some time for you. I cannot stress how important this has been for me. Being a stay-at-home mom for the past year has meant that my whole world revolves around my little one. But it's important to keep some perspective and an identity outside of being a mom.

Set reasonable expectations for yourself. I have learned that it's okay to have high standards but not to be too disappointed when things don't work out the way you planned. The best thing to do is simply give yourself a break.

I know that I am a different mom than perhaps I would have been had I given birth and been living in the States these past 12 months. Living abroad these past 7+ years has always been an adventure. Some days are good and some bad, that's just life.

Being a mom now just makes things interesting.

The Expecting Expat Mom's Buying Guide: For Baby

I never realized how many things a baby needed until I got pregnant. When it came time to shop in Egypt for our little one on the way, I soon realized that I basically knew nothing about what our baby needed.

And somehow my husband seemed to think that I was the expert. It was as if by becoming pregnant that apparently I also knew everything else there was to know about babies too.

Yeah, not so much.

The first time I went baby shopping, I was with my sister in the States. We were walking into Target and I looked at her and said "I'm not really sure what I'm doing here." So much for that vote of confidence, right?

So it wasn't just the living in Egypt that made buying for baby a challenge. I would haved face this problem anywhere.

And so would you.

So what did I do? Well I DID have access to the Internet. So essentially even if I didn't know everything there was to know about babies... I knew someone who did (or who could at least point me in the right direction.)

Not sure how to search the Internet? Here's what you do. Go to Google and type in the words "what a newborn needs."

You might get a list of sites like this:
Baby Checklist
Basic Baby Needs
Products You Don't Need to Buy for Newborns

But the biggest problem when you live overseas isn't knowing what you need for baby, it's knowing how to get it. If you do a bit of legwork in and around town wherever you live, you might find more than you think. Talk to locals. See where they buy baby stuff. Check it out and see if the quality is up to par for you. There actually might be a lot more stuff off your list available where you live than you think, it's just a matter of finding it.

And being willing to pay that much for it.

Because if living where you live is anything like how it is in Egypt - you might find that while a lot of stuff is available that it gets pretty expensive. So once you determine whether the things you *need* for baby are available where you are, if you find it you'll have to decide if you're willing to spend that much money for it or not.

If not you've somehow got to figure out how to get it elsewhere. You can either buy it online and have it shipped to you - that is if you've got a reliable postal service where you live. Or you can have someone buy it for you and bring it in for you in their suitcase (this works if you have family coming to visit or know someone who's coming from there soon).

Or you can go get it yourself.

I'll admit that most of my baby stuff was bought in the States.

Over the years, I have worked out a very effective system for buying stuff in the U.S. when I go home. I usually pack enough clothes for about 3 days. Then I fill the rest of my suitcase mostly with gifts for family and friends. And my pillow.

So while I'm in the States, I simply wear what I buy there and this fills my suitcase coming home.

The only downside I've found to buying baby stuff in America and bringing it back to Egypt is that it's very difficult to know exactly how much to bring back with me. So it is easy to overbuy.

Here are a few tips for buying baby stuff to bring back overseas with you.  

1. Consider what you have available overseas. And whether you want to buy it there. Just because it's available in Egypt doesn't necessarily mean that I want to buy it here. I find that even things that ARE available in Egypt tend to be quite a bit more expensive than the equivalent in the States.

This is why we've bought so much from the States.

But it's nice too to at least know what you have when you're in a pinch and you need that next size in something unexpected. Plus I like to be able to mix things up a bit now that my son is older. So since in Egypt we have lots of cute outfits (shirts and pants) that go on sale at random times, I'll stock up more on basic tees and jeans when we're back in the States because these are harder to find in Egypt (and more expensive.)

2. Consider what you don't have available overseas. If you can print off a baby checklist you find online and look around for things you need, you might find a lot more available where you're at than you realized. However, at the same time it's possible that some *key* items you need are hard to find where you live (or worse, not available at all.)

In Egypt, for example, hooded towels and cotton blankets were almost impossible to find. You might look one day and find them and then return the next day to find that they're sold out. And often they won't get any more in for weeks or months or never.

3. Make yourself a list. I'll admit as a new mom that a credit card in one hand and an empty shopping cart in the other do not make a good combination. Without a list, you might get home and find that you bought 20 onesies all in one size and never even remembered to buy those cloth bibs you needed.

I'm not saying you can't allow yourself to deviate from the list, just realize that pregnancy makes you a bit forgetful. Trust me, your husband will thank you for it later. And you'll probably thank yourself too.

4. Buy different brands. Different brands are different sizes. It doesn't matter that it says "newborn" or "0-3 months" on the label. You might find that the "newborn" in one size is bigger than the "0-3 months" in another brand.

This is a good thing. You'll thank yourself later when you have the next *size* available in your baby's clothes drawer. Babies grow fast. I usually buy 3-4 of one brand and then 3-4 in another.

I'm not saying don't buy something cute because you've already bought 4 other outfits in that brand. But I AM saying that you shouldn't buy out the entire line of Carter's in your baby's size. Buy some Carter's, some Gerber, some Okie-Dokie, and some Old Navy (for example).

5. Take advantage of end-of-the-season and clearance sales. Whenever I go into a new store, I always go straight to the clearance rack. I might find a really cute pair of jeans at the front of the store for $15 dollars. Or I might find an equally cute pair of jeans on the clearance rack for $3.99.

Trust me, cute is cute no matter what the price tag.

Buying ahead for baby can be tricky, but it's also pretty important when you live overseas. However, estimating exactly which size to buy that heavy winter coat in for next year may be next to impossible. So tread carefully when buying summer clothes for next year or stocking up on warm winter necessities for the future.

6. Evaluate and adjust as needed. The worst thing you can do when buying stuff for baby to bring back overseas is to leave everything in bags until the day before you leave. Take the stuff out, fold it and arrange according to sizes. I even start to pack stuff immediately to make sure I didn't overbuy according to our baggage limits.

I realize that not everyone is able to go home to buy baby stuff before they have their baby. But many people have family come to visit when babies are born. And there is also the option of buying things online and having them shipped to you.

Larger baby items presented the biggest problem for me. You can buy clothes and other smaller baby items till the cows come home, but you can't lug a crib on the plane with you.

I knew from my reading that experts recommended that cribs and car seats be bought new. Anything else could be either borrow or bought used.

We bought our crib new in Egypt. My husband and I shopped around for Egyptian cribs but after looking in a couple of stores, we very happily shelled out a larger than usual amount of money for a crib from the Mothercare store.

You can't put a price tag on your baby's safety.

One thing to know is that a lot of expats get rid of baby stuff when they leave a country. So if you're in an expat community, keep your eyes open for people who have younger kids who are leaving to go home or to another assignment. This is a great way to get used baby stuff.

I bought my glider this way from an American lady who moved back to the States.

My advice is to enjoy this process. Don't let yourself get stressed out about the do's and don'ts. When it gets to be too much for you, take a break. Take some of those little outfits out, take off the tags, and fold them slowly. Imagine your baby in them. You'll get through this. And before you know it your little one will be right beside you.

You might even long for these days again.

If you've been pregnant or had a baby overseas, how did you get the stuff you needed for baby? What is your advice for what to buy (and how to buy it) for baby?

Don't forget to check out The Expecting Expat Mom's Buying Guide: For Mama.

The Expecting Expat Mom's Buying Guide: For Mama

Knowing what to buy when you're pregnant with your first child is a daunting task no matter where you are in the world. But living abroad away from all of those familiar faces and places can make buying for you and for baby seem altogether impossible on your own in a foreign country.

I know. I felt the same way.

When I was pregnant last year with our son, Cairo became a very different place for me. There was so much that I didn't know about pregnancy or babies. And I'd been here for over 4 years, so all those old insecurities came flooding back. I didn't know where to buy maternity clothes; I didn't know where to get baby items - the reasonably priced, good quality ones - in Egypt.

And I didn't know what I needed for me and baby in the first place.

The first thing I did when I found out I was pregnant was to go out and buy a pregnancy book in English. Reading was like balm for the soul for me during this time. I was more freaked out by the not knowing than anything else.

So I devoured information from anywhere I could get it. I bought books. I got on websites like Baby Center and What to Expect. I signed up for weekly emails about my pregnancy progress.

And if you're anything like me, this overload of information will somehow comfort you. I realized that I was stronger, more competent, and more informed of a woman than I thought I was. I could survive having a baby overseas in a foreign country by myself.

It was just the self-doubt that was holding me back.

Buying maternity clothes abroad. The first few months of pregnancy went fairly well for me. I was tired all the time, but I was still wearing all my normal clothes. However, after those first 3 or 4 months it was clear that my belly was outgrowing my pants.

Maternity clothes are available in Egypt but they're expensive. And a lot of basic items like plain t-shirts and pants or jeans aren't so easy to find. A lot of what's available is trendy and won't work with what's already in your closet.

I bought something online called a Tummy Sleeve that I would definitely recommend all expecting moms to get. It's basically a stretchy band that fits comfortably over your belly. Make sure you get one made specifically for pregnant women because it's made to support but not to constrict. This really helped me stretch an extra few weeks out of my regular pants by leaving them unzipped with the belly band stretched down over the front.

My advice for buying maternity clothes in a foreign country? Well, it depends on the foreign country you're in (sorry). Buy sparingly. And be smart about what you buy. You'd be surprised at how far just 1 or 2 pairs of pants will take you. Buy basic items (like a pair of black pants) that will work with what you already have at home.

If you can buy things online (like we can in the States), be careful about sizes. Depending on your weight gain (and I'm not just talking about your belly area), you may get larger in some areas earlier than you expect. So make sure you buy a few items the next size up.

And it can be tempting to buy lots of stuff (because it's just SO cute), but try to minimize what you buy as much as you can (after all you'll only be wearing these clothes for around a year).

If you go home to your home country while you're pregnant. If you can, I would definitely recommend that you go home to stock up on some stuff before baby comes. Or if family is coming to visit from home, have them bring some of this stuff with them when they come.

One thing to remember about buying maternity clothes is that you'll be wearing them into your baby's first few months. Just because you had the baby doesn't make that belly go away overnight. So make sure you buy a few pairs of pants that don't have the full panel built into them (these get really baggy real fast as you start to lose the weight) as well as something like the Tummy Sleeve for when you begin to fit into your old pants (but can't quite button that button up yet.)

A few other things I picked up in the States that made a big difference for me (after I had the baby) were nursing bras and nursing tanks. Focus on soft, comfortable, breathable items that support well and allow easy access. And remember that night-time support is just as important as the daytime.

One great investment I made was in a nursing cover. Now the good ones in the States are around $35-40 but this was well worth the cost. I'm serious, you will need this and once you learn to use it, it will make nursing your baby anywhere so much easier (i.e. on a plane, at home w/guests around, out in public, etc.)

Look for nursing covers online or in specialty stores in your local area. If you search for "nursing cover" online and go to a website, find a store close to you. You won't find these in Target or Babies R' Us (not the really wide ones with the pretty designs). Just call the store before you go because they may not carry them anymore.

And don't forget the prenatal vitamins. You will want to continue to take these well into your baby's first year so bring enough with you (if you can) for several months.

What to splurge on. The most expensive item I bought for myself was a good quality diaper bag. I know it sounds crazy but I didn't have a good one when our son was born. And let me tell you it was a real hassle trying to get everything I needed into the cheap bag I had picked up at Target. Now I love Target, but not for buying diaper bags.

This might be the last thing on your mind, but this is what you'll be carrying around all day every day for at least a year. So live a little and consider it an early (or late) birthday or Christmas present to yourself. You deserve it!

I bought mine from Skip Hop and I highly recommend this one. My main problem was that I didn't like carrying around a "diaper bag." This one solves that problem because it doesn't even look like one (but has all the amenities and more inside). I have space for my stuff and for baby's too. And I think I'll have a hard time separating from it once I no longer need a diaper bag.

The Quick List

• Pregnancy book(s)
• A Tummy Sleeve (or similar item)
• Maternity clothes
• Nursing bras and tanks
• Nursing cover
• Prenatal vitamins
• A good diaper bag

This may just be a starting point for what you need to buy for yourself if you are pregnant and living abroad. You may have more available where you live abroad, or you may have less available so you'll have to get a little more creative to get the things you need.

A note about shipping items. If people want to send you things, especially clothes, through the mail they need to make sure they remove all tags before shipping. Customs fees on clothing can often be a subjective thing so you may end up spending just as much or more on customs fees as the cost of the clothes themselves. And honestly in a place like Egypt, I'm not always sure that I'll get everything that gets shipped to me.

It is a good idea to use companies like DHL or UPS (this is coming from the U.S.) this is better because they're more reliable. DHL Egypt's Easy Shop service where you can buy stuff online, ship it to a U.S. address that they give you, and then have them ship it directly to you in Egypt. It can be a bit expensive, but like I said, more reliable. I have heard that Aramex offers a similar service. We have used the DHL service with excellent results so I can definitely recommend it.

Buying for yourself when you're pregnant doesn't have to be so stressful. Just remember that women all over the world have given birth to children so even if you're a little out of your comfort zone, there is probably someone local who can help you through this time. And you don't have to buy all of this stuff brand-new. You may find someone who's had a baby recently who will let you borrow clothes or may even give them to you.

Stay tuned next week for The Expecting Expat Mom's Buying Guide: For Baby.

If you've been pregnant or had a baby overseas, how did you find the things you need? Is there anything missing from the list above?

How Becoming a Mother Changed My Life as an Expat

Nobody told me how much one little baby would change my life in Egypt. Before our son was born last year, life for me here was good. I was busy. I spoke the language. I understood the culture. I liked living in Cairo. This was home.

But somehow I always felt a little bit like an outsider. I could never quite put my finger on exactly why. I wasn't unwelcome, quite the opposite in fact. It was just this sense that there was a sort of wall there, separating me from really connecting with people.

My problem wasn't that I didn't stand out here. I have blond(ish) hair and blue-green eyes so there's no way I can get by in Egypt without getting noticed at least a little.

But they pretty much left me alone. I dressed appropriately. I acted appropriately. I didn't smile too much. I didn't make too much eye contact. I didn't give out my name.

It was the same when my husband and I went out together. We frequent a lot of the same restaurants and coffee shops. And sometimes people remembered us, and sometimes they didn't.

It didn't matter much to us anyways. We weren't exactly vying for first place in the "look at me" contest. We were perfectly happy being almost invisible.

Quite a few things changed when our son was born last year. Some things I expected and others I did not.

People remembered us. Like I said before some people remembered us, well, sometimes. But now people almost always remember us. Well, at least they remember my son. He has one of those faces.

People were friendlier. I'm talking about strangers here. Taxi drivers, people in front of us in line, people behind us in line, the guy behind the counter, people walking past... Basically people anywhere and everywhere were talking to us. Egyptians just can't get enough of babies.

I had to become friendlier. I was never unfriendly before; I just wasn't very outgoing. Before having a baby, I pretty much kept to myself and usually spoke when spoken to. But my son is friendly. At a young age, he began to smile at strangers. And they in turn smiled back. They oohed and they aahed, and I was left to smile in return. People wanted to know his name and how old he was. What was I to do, ignore them?

Making a personal connection with people was easier. This was true particularly with other expats. When you don't have kids you have to rely on common interests and experiences for that personal connection with people, but after you have kids just having kids was a common interest and a common experience.

It was true too among our Egyptian family and friends. While I had been welcomed and accepted by my husband's family and friends, having a child really opened the door to conversations. I could talk to them all day about my son. They wanted to know what he was eating, how he was sleeping, what he was doing, etc.

Transportation got tricky. I used to be able to hop in a taxi and go just about anywhere I wanted. Now I'm lugging a child around in a stroller with a diaper bag on my shoulder and all of that has to fit somehow into a taxi as well. And then there's the problem if getting across town when my son needs to be in a car seat.

Grocery shopping became an adventure. Ever tried navigating a stroller through a crowded grocery store? In Egypt it can be downright dangerous.

Going home to the States was no longer an option, it was a necessity. Now there were grandparents to consider. There were things we needed for baby that weren't available in Egypt.

Now I knew that becoming a mom would make things different. I knew that life in Egypt would never be the same.

I just never realized how much.

Life in Egypt is still good for me. I love my new life as a mother. It took a little time adjusting. Some things were easy and some were not. That's life in Cairo. Things here can change in a heartbeat.

But after all, isn't a little change good?

Finding a Pediatrician in Egypt

Trying to find a doctor for our baby in Egypt was the first test of parenthood for us. We had the baby. We got him home safely. We followed every rule. We took every precaution.

And two weeks later he mysteriously developed a cough.

What were we to do now?

There is something about having a baby that brings everything to the surface. I realized really quickly what my priorities were.

Because this was the first real problem we had to solve together as parents. Now we were the sole care providers for one helpless little baby boy. Every decision mattered. For want of a better phrase, it was a "life and death situation."

We had to find a pediatrician.

And I couldn't hold onto all of my American ideals. And my husband couldn't hold onto all of his Egyptian traditions.

We had to find the balance.

Finding any kind of a doctor in Egypt can feel a bit like trying to find a needle in a haystack. I sometimes think that there's a doctor on every corner here. And there seems to be a million doctors for any possible kind of ailment you can think of.

So how DO you find a pediatrician in Egypt?

Know thyself. You have to know what you want. You have to know what you don't want. This sounds simple but isn't always the easiest to determine. Sometimes you have to prioritize the wants and don't wants because there's no guarantee that you can get everything you want in one doctor.

• We preferred a doctor with morning hours AND evening hours. A lot of doctors only work at night in Egypt (they spend their days working in the hospitals). 
• We needed a doctor who spoke good English (as in, could speak English the entire time we were in his/her office). 
• We didn't want to wait for the doctor in a small, crowded waiting room. We knew from experience that being that close to other sick kids with a newborn was not the way to go. 
• We wanted a doctor who was prompt. It is not unusual in Egypt for your appointment to be at 7:00 PM and the doctor not show up until 7:30 or 8:00 PM.
• We wanted a doctor close to home. Surely there was a decent pediatrician within 15 minutes driving from our house!

Know what's out there. I didn't know that there were basically 2 schools of thought in Egypt among pediatricians. The first school advocates the use of medicines, and the second discourages medicines and instead focuses on the building of the child's immune system. (Translation: the first school will give your 2-week-old baby antibiotics without even hearing that cough and the second school will rip you a new one for giving your baby antibiotics at just 2 weeks old.)

Recommendations from other doctors. I had a great OBGYN in Egypt who walked us through every crazy moment and survived my incessant questioning during my pregnancy with our son. So once we had the baby, our first question to him was - do you know any good pediatricians? He knew us, he knew what we needed, so he gave us some recommendations based on that.

Recommendations from other parents. I think this was the key in helping us make our final decision on a pediatrician. We got first-hand knowledge of how the doctor works, what his/her theories about medicine are, what kind of atmosphere he/she has in their office and waiting room, and what their working hours are... all without actually having to go see them first.

Trial and error. Time consuming. Nerve-wracking. A leap of faith. Because every time you go to a new pediatrician with a young baby they start from scratch. You don't transfer your records from the other doctor. You don't talk through the "what have you been doing so far" with your baby. They start from the beginning and go all the way through the process.

This is both good and bad.

Well, the good news is that we found a pediatrician we love. Our son likes him. We like him, his waiting room, his working hours, his receptionists, his theories on medicine (so far), his manner of dealing with us, and - most importantly - his way of caring for our son.

So for now, score 1 for Team Amir!

Connecting with Other Expat Moms

It can be lonely living overseas. So whether you're single or married with or without kids, having friends when you live abroad is vitally important even though finding them can sometimes be hard.

I mentioned in my post Recovering from Small World Syndrome that I found it difficult to connect with other expat moms in Egypt.

Here is why I thought this was important:

Having friends who understand the struggles of being an expat mom in Egypt. The other moms I already know in Egypt have been a great encouragement over this past year, and I hoped to find more.

Socialization for my son. My son hasn't had a lot of interaction with other babies his age. So it would be nice for him to make some friends too.

Networking. There are a lot of activities available for babies around Cairo, but they are not always well advertised. Most of these places rely on word-of-mouth. So finding things to do with my son has been a bit of a struggle.

My difficulty in finding other expat moms has been mostly a logistical problem. Everyone I knew who was involved in moms groups and activities for babies lived about an hour away across town in Cairo.

And for months my efforts to meet other moms on my side of town (Heliopolis) didn't meet with much success.

My problem seemed to be that since I didn't already have a community of expat friends that it was even more difficult to find them now that I had a baby.

Now the good news is that in the past month I have joined not one but two moms groups on our side of town! One is a startup playgroup and the other is a moms' Bible study/book discussion group.

I'll let you know how things go.

So here are a few things I have learned so far during this process of trying to connect with other expat moms:

Don't give up. It has taken me nearly 4 months to finally find some other moms who want to meet together once a week for a playgroup in Heliopolis. That was longer than I expected it to take, but now I wish I had started earlier. Now my son is close to a year old so he's starting to get pretty active so playgroup time is basically me following him around the room while trying to have a conversation with another mom at the same time.

Ask. Any new meetings we went to where there were expats I asked if they knew of any moms getting together. I sent out emails to Yahoo email groups I had joined for foreign women living in Egypt asking if there was interest in starting a playgroup in Heliopolis. It took a while to generate any kind of response but the important thing was to start small and not to set my expectations too high.

Go to where moms go. Someone suggested that I visit a local nursery or daycare center to meet other moms. And this was my next step, at least before I was contacted by another mom who wanted to put together a playgroup.

Now I had considered walking up and introducing myself to complete strangers I saw in the mall with children around my son's age. But I wasn't quite ready for that kind of extreme measures... yet.

Be friendly. I am not that sort of outgoing person who finds a friend around every corner. But things are different now with a little one because he is always smiling at everyone and they're always smiling back. It definitely gets me out of my comfort zone... in a good way.

Let someone help you. I met one expat mom who ran a nursery in Heliopolis. She gave my contact info to another mom who was also looking to start a playgroup. This kind of networking is important in Egypt. So find one mom who is connected to other moms and ask them to help you. Even if they have older kids they might be able to help steer you in the right direction.

Stay connected to expat communities. Whether it's meeting other moms with babies around my son's age for playgroups, attending moms support groups, or just finding out about anything baby-related in Cairo, I never realized until now how important it was to stay plugged into the local expat communities until now.

The good news is that right now I have joined 2 groups for moms. One is a playgroup that meets once a week in different homes. The other is a mother's Bible study/book discussion group associated with the local international church that also meets weekly.

And just after only a couple of weeks, I can already feel myself relax. It is tough being an expat mom feeling like you're kind of out there on your own. So having other moms around to talk to face-to-face is definitely a great thing.

Because if there's one thing I know about being an expat, it's that the journey is much more fun when you have people to share it with.

I think that's probably true about being a mom as well.

Having a Baby Overseas

It was a real leap of faith to have a baby overseas. Well, the truth is that I'd never had a baby before so having a baby ANYWHERE would've been a leap of faith. Still, if someone had told me years ago that I would give birth to my first baby in Egypt, I would have laughed in their face.

It just sounds so preposterous, right?

But one thing I have learned over the years is to expect the unexpected and be ready for anything.

So let's face it, when you live abroad, far away from family and friends, and make another country your permanent home (at least for now) things just kind of fall into a rhythm after a while. And you being to think after a few years that things are good, things are normal, life just kind of moves along and not much changes.

You've got this living abroad thing down. You're an expert.

And then you find out you're going to have a baby.

And that's when you realize that you don't know anything. You don't know anything about doctors, about hospitals, about babies, about what babies need or eat or wear... You don't know anything about being pregnant and what you need to eat or wear and...

You definitely don't know anything about any of the above in Egypt.

And your mom is halfway around the world.

So is this the time I freak out? Is this where I throw in the towel and move home?

THE DECISION:
Let me tell you why I chose to have my baby in Egypt and not in the States.

My doctor was in Egypt. I had (have) a great doctor in Egypt. No matter where you are and what your medical condition is, having a great doctor makes all the difference.

My husband was in Egypt. Yes, if I'd had the baby in the States he would've been there. But it would've been stressful for me to be away from him waiting to have the baby (and waiting for him to come) and then stressful for him to be away from his work to be with me in the States.

My home was in Egypt. Call me crazy but I wanted to bring our newborn son home from the hospital to our house, not to a hotel room or a rented apartment. And I certainly didn't want to have to drag my sweet baby at that young age all the way across the big pond to get home.

I had never had a baby before. So I didn't have anything to compare the experience in Egypt to. I hadn't been in a hospital in the States for so long that I couldn't even remember what they looked like on the inside.

THE PREPARATION:
Once the decision was made to have the baby in Egypt, then we needed to buy all stuff a baby needed. We knew that since we were going to the States to visit at least once before the baby came that we could buy a lot of this from there. But most of the larger items (like furniture) had to be bought in Egypt.

Crib and changing table. We found a crib with a changing table top in a Mothercare store in Egypt.

Stroller/car seat. We borrowed a newborn stroller/car seat combo from some expat friends to use until our son was around 6 months old.

Glider chair. We bought a used glider chair and ottoman from another expat in Egypt.

Clothes, blankets, towels, and other misc baby stuff. Even though a lot of baby items are available in Egypt, we bought most of what we needed from the States because #1 we could because we were there and #2 usually the good stuff is cheaper there than in Egypt.

THE BIRTH:
That moment when I realized that I was really having a baby and that I was having it in a foreign country hit me right about the second we set foot in the hospital. Before then, I was pretty much okay with the whole idea. My husband was with me the whole time I was in labor (it was a Friday evening), and we were in constant contact with my doctor.

Yes, it was a little nerve wracking to have a strange doctor examine me when we arrived at the hospital. But we needed to know how far along I was in labor. And once he determined that I was dilated enough to admit me into the hospital, the waiting began.

After several hours of monitoring my contractions and my baby's heartbeat, my doctor called and told us that if I wanted an epidural that this was the time to do it.

The epidural insertion process was the scariest for me out of everything. This was partially because my own doctor wasn't there yet, and also because my husband wasn't allowed in the room with me while they put it in. But the real problem was me. I had read too much about what could go wrong with an epidural so I was freaking out about how much it was going to hurt. But the doctor spoke English and talked me through every step before he did anything.

And so I survived.

Early the next morning, my doctor arrived at the hospital and evaluated our progress so far. And after a long discussion and explanation about where we should be and where we actually were, his recommendation was that we opt for an emergency c-section. Now I had really wanted a natural birth but I wanted a perfectly healthy baby more.

So we decided to go with the c-section.

I'm not sure how to describe the feeling of being aware and listening to what's going on while the doctors performed the c-section. I do remember that I was praying out loud the entire time and at this point I didn't care if they heard me or not.

But I can say that all kinds of emotions washed over me the first time I heard my baby cry. Relief, disbelief, amazement, overwhelming joy, and this strange pain in my neck from where I was straining so hard to try to see my son.

And of course they brought him over so that I could get a look before they took him out of the room.

When it was all said and done, I was wheeled out to recovery and suddenly looked up to see my husband standing over me all decked out in scrubs complete with face mask (I was a little surprised to see him because I knew he wasn't allowed back there but apparently they made an exception and let him come see me when it was all over).

And finally they rolled me back up to our room as I called my parents to tell them the good news. I have no idea what time it was in Kentucky but my mom answered the phone.

We cried.

Our stay at the hospital was around 48 hours. Recovery went well as soon as I realized that I had to actually ask for the pain killers once the epidural wore off.

But finally it was time and we bundled our little boy up and took him home. The drive home was surreal. I can still see us sitting in the car and waiting in Cairo traffic, me in the backseat with our son on the seat beside me.

I honestly can't remember anything after we arrived at home. All I know is that we were home at last with a perfect, healthy baby boy.

And that was all that mattered.

Our life had changed forever.

My Baby Food Experience in Egypt

Finding baby food in a foreign country is no small task. Not only are you trying to decipher the language on the jar, but you're also trying to determine whether what's really on that label is what's really in the jar.

Because back home in the States, baby food companies are held accountable for what they put on their jar. If it says organic, it means organic. If it lists the ingredients as apples, water, and citric acid, well, you can trust that those are the exact ingredients in that jar.

Not so in Egypt.

Of course, I had never paid much attention to baby food in either Egypt or the States until I had a baby myself. So why would I care what was available or not?

But after looking around, I realized that there isn't much to choose from around here. There are maybe 3 or 4 companies that make a variety of baby cereals including rice, wheat with milk, mixed cereals with fruit, wheat with corn, vegetable soup cereal, and so on. But everywhere we looked there was only 1 brand of jarred baby food available - Hero. I had heard that stores used to carry the Gerber brand here but we couldn't find it anywhere. Even there were old Gerber baby food stands in stores that were now filled with Hero jars.

Not that we were in any hurry to feed our son solids. At the recommendation of our pediatrician, we waited until he was 6 months to introduce solids. And when he did turn 6 months, the pediatrician started us on a certain vegetable mix (carrots, sweet potatoes/potatoes, and kusa - basically Egyptian zucchini) rather than rice cereal.

These vegetables were not available in jarred form anywhere in Egypt.

So basically I was forced to make baby food in the end even if I hadn't really planned on it. Not that I minded, because every jar of Hero baby food that I could find had ingredients like sugar and corn starch listed (which are big no-nos to give infants in the States).

So the choice was clear.

When it came time to introduce solids, I did what I always do with any new milestone for our son - I researched the topic on the internet until my eyes watered from sitting in front of the computer screen for too long and my mind reeled with the overload of information.

It seemed like such a daunting task to try to make homemade baby food! I thought I would NEVER figure out how to make it, much less get my son to eat it. Everybody out there had different recommendations on which foods to start out with first, how to cook them, how to prepare them, whether to give purees or just pieces of food. I wasn't sure if he was eating solids because he NEEDED them or just for tasting.

Like I said, an overload of information.

But the good thing is that we found one of those baby food making machines here in Toys R Us. These machines basically let you steam the veggies or fruit and then flip the thing over and puree them right in the same container. That put my mind at ease because at least I knew I could make the food.

But how to store it? Was I going to have to make food every day? Could I freeze it?  Should I just make enough for 2 or 3 days and keep it in the refrigerator? What kind of containers did I need for that? How was I going to carry food around with me when we went out during the day?

Like I've said before, it's not so much that things AREN'T available in Egypt, but rather the finding of things and the putting it all together is what makes it so difficult. It takes more time and energy...LOTS more time and energy.

But this is where all that internet research paid off.  I knew I needed certain things, and once I found them it was all downhill from there.

Baby food making machine. I have a steamer and a blender/food processor so basically I didn't really need the machine. But after making baby food now for months, I can definitely say that this was worth the extra money we spent on it.

Ice cube trays. This was something we didn't already have. But I had read that if you made the baby food and then poured it into ice cube trays, that later you could pop the cubes out of the trays, seal them into freezer bags labeled with the contents and date, and then just take out what you need at night for the next day.

Muffin pans. When my son began eating more, I stopped freezing everything in ice cube trays and switched to freezing larger portions in muffin pans.

Small plastic bowls with tight-fitting lids. It took me a while to find the exact size I needed. But I have to say that once I found them, they made my life so much easier by allowing me to take homemade baby food anywhere (even on a plane). Also, now with my son eating more, once I got a few more bowls I began to freeze portions directly into the bowls (skipping the step of freezing in ice cube trays or muffin pans).

We do have Tupperware available in Egypt as well, and they have baby food products like bottles, sippy cups, bowls, and spoons. And there are a number of items available in pharmacies and places like Toys R Us, Spinney's, and Seif stores. So even if these things were a bit pricey, at least they would last until I could bring extras from the States the last couple of times home.

So all in all, I have to say that my experience with baby food in Egypt wasn't as bad as I expected. It was important to lay aside my own expectations of what I needed and just to focus on the end result desired - getting food for my baby (whether I made it or not).

And even this last time to the States and getting to see the wide variety of baby food items available there, I realized in coming home to Egypt that I was more capable of providing food for my son than I realized.  

1. If I couldn't get a large variety of baby food in jars in Egypt, I still could make all different kinds of purees for him, even making ones similar to the ones he had liked in the States.
2. If I couldn't buy those cute little applesauce cups in Egypt, I still could make homemade applesauce and freeze it directly into containers to feed him to eat out of. 
3. If I couldn't buy cheese in convenient individual packs, I still could buy a huge chunk of Cheddar cheese, cut it up into small cubes, and pop a few into a sandwich bag to take with us when we went out (he LOVES cheese). 
4. I could buy the individual containers of plain whole milk yogurt (something NOT available in the States).
5. I could steam little pieces of veggies to give to him as finger foods.

Because there's no reason for me to make this process any more difficult by stressing over it and moaning about what we don't have available here in Egypt. Living in Egypt itself and getting around with a baby in Cairo is tough enough. 

It was time to look on the bright side. And time to get creative.