Saturday, August 28, 2010

Help! I'm In Redneck Central

We went to the Kentucky State Fair today.  I haven't been in a large, crowded place like this in Kentucky for quite some time.  And I haven't seen so many rednecks in one place in quite some time.

Wow.  It sure brought back memories.

First there was the young guy dressed in a wife beater (basically a white sleeveless shirt), blue jeans and belt buckle the size of his head along with a pair of cowboy boots.  Must have been his fancy outfit, though, because those cowboy boys were polished up so shiny that you could see yourself in them.

Then I saw two young guys dressed in FFA blue cordoroy jackets with long gold chains dangling down into their pockets.  The FFA jackets haven't changed since I remember them, but the gold chains kind of confused me.  Were they redneck gangsta's or what?  Could something like that even exist?

There were lots and lots of flip-flops.  Not that flip-flops categorize you as a redneck necessarily, just depends on what kind of clothes you pair them with...and whether your hair is piled up so high on your head that it hits the ceiling fan.

I don't know what category this fits into, but I saw a number of people walking around with their dogs in strollers.  That's right, folks.  Here in Kentucky there are dogs apparently too precious to have to walk around on their own four feet.  And these were not the cheap umbrella-like strollers like what most of the kids were sitting in.  No, these babies were riding around in strollers complete with sunshades and screens to keep the sun and mosquitoes off of them.  My son could only dream of this kind of luxury!

I'm not sure what really classifies a person as a "redneck."  I have tried explaining this one to my Egyptian husband, and basically every time I am finished with my explanation he is still left scratching his head in confusion.  Suffice to say that redneck men are stereotyped as being dressed in a wife beater, old jeans & cowboy boots with an old ball cap on their head and beer belly sticking out from under their shirt and redneck women are stereotyped as young, barefoot and pregnant.

Jeff Foxworthy made rednecks funny and famous with his "You Might Be a Redneck If..." jokes.  I think most of his jokes come from real life situations although they often seem strange and outlandish until you take a Sunday drive out into some of the more rural parts of Kentucky.

These people really do exist.  

And you might find one by just looking in the mirror...

Read that list of 300 reasons that you might be a redneck.  You might be surprised when a few of them fall a little too close for comfort.

Or maybe that picture above of the redneck wedding cake looked a little too-good-to-be-true for you.  Especially if you could actually name all the snack cakes it was made of...

Like me.

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